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Dear Men, You Seriously Need To Stop Wearing Jorts

Consider this your public service announcement.

You know who looks good in jorts?


And only women.

Not a single man in history has ever looked good in jorts.

Not any actors...


Or musical artists.

You know why?

Because jorts are ugly and make cool people look stupid.

They are basically the macaroni necklaces of adulthood.

90% of the time, jorts are far too tight and tiny to be acceptable in public.

And when they're not super short, they are ridiculously big and baggy.

Not only do they lack so many of the necessary qualities of other shorts, such as comfort and range of motion...

But they're also totally impractical.

And if jorts truly were "freeing" don't you think uniforms would be made out of denim or that maybe gymnasts and runners would wear them?

And I'm sorry but jorts are NOT American.

Or badass.

They are stupid, hideous, and should be removed from your life.

So the next time you grab a pair of scissors, looking to cut your next pair of jorts...

Remember that nobody wants to see you looking like this.