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A Straight Man's Journey Into Becoming A One Direction Fan

Zayn. Zayn! ZAYN! ZAYN!! ZAYN!!!

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1. One Direction will never be as good as The Backstreet Boys or NSYNC.

2. I will never understand girls screaming. Seriously. Why do they do that?

3. OK, "What Makes You Beautiful" is kind of catchy...

4. Zayn is cool, but he's the only one I like.

5. Harry Styles?! No. Zayn. It's all about Zayn.

♬ And that's what makes you beautiful... ♬

6. Why can't they dance? The Backstreet Boys and NSYNC were excellent dancers. "Bye, bye, bye." Now THAT is a dance move. #NeverForget

7. I'm not saying I like 1D, but their songs ARE catchy. I will say that. Whoever writes their songs does a good job.

♬ And we danced all night TO THE BEST SONG EVER! ♬

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8. I feel bad for the blonde kid.

9. When does he sing?

10. Do the other guys like him?

11. Does Zayn like him?

12. Where is Zayn from?

13. No, I don't care about Harry Styles. I like Zayn. Zayn is the best.

14. I think I'm becoming a One Direction fan...

15. Better keep that one to myself.

[In a whisper]

♬ And I'll be gone, gone tonight... something something something... ♬

[Turns up radio]

16. Seriously, their songs are really catchy...

17. I mean, I'm not going to download them, but, yeah, I'll listen to it on --

♬ THE STORY OF MY LIIIIFE! I TAKE HER HOOOME! I DRIVE ALL NIIIIIIIIIGHT! TO KEEP HER WAAAAARM AND TIME... IS FROOOOOOOOZEN ♬

18. Look, they can obviously sing, but their hits are not on the same level as Millennium or No Strings Attached. You know what I mean?

19. Definitely better than 98 Degrees though. (I'm sorry, Nick Lachey, but we both know it's true)

20. What's up with all these love songs? What are they, like, 15?

21. How old is Zayn?

22. And — what's the blonde kid's name again? — Niall is younger, right?

23. Harry is NOT THE BEST ONE! WHY ARE YOU EVEN SAYING THAT?!

24. Who's the one that's not Zayn, Harry, Niall, or the other good-looking one?

25. Yeah, Liam. What does he do?

26. Hold. Up.

27. "Steal My Girl" is good.

28. "Steal My Girl" is really good.

29. I'm not kidding. This is my new jam.

30. Yes! Always gotta start with Zayn. He's the best one. See, that's what I'm saying.

31. Which part is Harry's?

32. OK. OK. I see you, Harry.

33. I gotta YouTube interviews with that guy later...

34. Don't get me wrong, Zayn is still the best, but I can see how people like Harry.

35. You know what? One Direction is legit.

36. You know why? Because...

♬ EVERYBODY WANNA STEAL MY GIRL! EVERYBODY WANNA TAKE HER HEART AWAY! COUPLE BILLION IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! FIND ANOTHER ONE CAUSE SHE BELONGS TO ME!

Na na na na na na... ♬

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