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A Not-So Definitive Ranking Of The 30 Best Nicknames For Home Runs

"And that's another whambleblam* for Miguel Cabrera!" *Not actually included because it's not real.

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Baseball has been played for like, I don't know, 700 years or something. And somewhere in that timeline calling a home run a "home run" simply wasn't exciting anymore, so the players, coaches, fans, and commentators started to use nicknames instead. And now home run nicknames are as common in baseball as horse steroids. But what's the point of having a bunch of nicknames if you don't rank them? Exactly, there isn't one. That's what I'm saying.

Note: These are NOT home run calls, like "You can put it on the boooooard, YES!" Those are something completely different and they have no place on this list.

30) Poke

29) Long Ball

28) Homer

27) Knock

26) Smack

25) Jack

24) Shot

23) High-Riser

22) Dinger

21) Blast

20) Bomb

19) Rocket

18) Missile

17) Laser

16) Roof Shot

15) Moon Shot

14) Tape Measure Shot

13) Goner

12) Big Fly

11) Upper-Decker

10) Tater

9) No-Doubter

8) Four-Bagger

7) Round-Tripper

6) Out-of-Towner

5) Gopher Ball

4) Souvenir

3) Yahtzee

2) Grand Salami (for a grand slam, obviously)

And the winner, in an upset:

1) Oppo Taco (a home run to the opposite side of the park, used specifically by the Angels)

Think we missed one or want to plead the case for your favorite home run nickname? Let us know in the comments.