We asked recently married couples of the BuzzFeed Community to share with us what they've learned about marriage. Here are some of the best responses.
1. "Your marriage is NOT your parents' — for better or for worse — so don't act a certain way just because your parents 'did/didn't do that.'"
Submitted by Courtney Love Foster, Facebook
2. "Always show appreciation, even for small things. It could very well make your significant other's day."
Submitted by Emma Clemenson, Facebook
3. "Find hobbies you both enjoy, but don't give up on the ones you like. 'Me time' is super important."
Submitted by Kimberly Turner Jensen, Facebook
4.
"Marriage has really made me appreciate the friendship that my husband and I have. Once the honeymoon is over, reality sinks in and you realize that this is your life. Just you and him (or her) taking on the world together forever. And if you can't share the journey with your best friend, then you've got nothing."
Submitted by Allison Phillips, Facebook
5. "When you fight, ask yourself: 'Is this the hill I want to die on?' If not, you gotta come back down to Earth and work it out."
Submitted by Lauren Alessandra Miller
6.
"Don't listen to people that tell you to never go to bed angry. Go to bed mad as fuck. No one is a reasonable, fair-fighter when they're exhausted. Don't force a resolution."
Submitted by Rachel Hanan-Mercury, Facebook
7. "Remember to laugh off the little things and take on the big things together."
Submitted by Patty Van Laar, Facebook
8. "It's never going to make things better to attack one another during an argument."
Submitted by Car Sue Woodrow, Facebook
9. "Don’t hold your feelings in for too long. When you figure out a good way (and an appropriate time) to express yourself, tell your spouse what you’re feeling and thinking."
Submitted by betsyblair
10. "Fighting happens. It's OK."
Submitted by Chelsea DeBall, Facebook
11. "You will learn a lot from arguments — about yourself and about your spouse — and how you handle them should always strengthen your bond, not weaken it."
Submitted by ellenp40775d215
12.
"Keep an open mind at all times because there may be something about your significant other that you didn't know, or something may have changed, or the situation may be new and different. The work and the learning never stops and I think that's what makes marriage exciting and fun!"
Submitted by ChelseaPearce
13.
"Even though marriage comes with the concept of two becoming one, it's vitally important to remember that you both are individuals with your own voices, opinions, and needs. Expressing those needs and making sure your voice is being heard by the other is crucial to making hard decisions and compromises."
Submitted by Emily Osborn, Facebook
14.
"Marriage is simultaneously everything and nothing like you thought it would be. All of those wonderful things that you anticipate are very real, but so are the not so wonderful things that you never anticipated. Don't get too worked up over the expectations of having a 'perfect' spouse, because no one is perfect."
Submitted by Jenny Kindschy, Facebook
15. "You may gain some extra weight with all of the 'happiness.'"
Submitted by Alli Schmidt, Facebook
16. "Your relationship with your spouse won't change very much, but your relationship with your single friends will!"
Submitted by Cassandra Flynn, Facebook
17. "One of you has to be OK with killing spiders."
Submitted by Aut0
18. "I think I've learned so much about not holding men accountable to the standards I have seen in movies or from pop culture. Men are individuals, too, and they are allowed to have emotions, bad days, body issues, etc."
Submitted by Abigail Hanson, Facebook
19. "Sometimes it’s like having an annoying roommate and every little thing bugs you. But sometimes it’s like having a constant sleepover with your best friend."
Submitted by emphil
20. "Though my spouse has always been deserving of my love and respect, my appreciation and admiration for him seem to come more naturally. It's become so clear that we really are in this together."
Submitted by Clare Bogle, Facebook
21. "Sometimes life gets hectic and you end up doing different things, but be sure to have time together in whatever way you guys choose."
Submitted by stressmonster
22. "It’s really important to keep up the little things we did for each other before we were married."
Submitted by jenniferj32
23. "I’ve learned that showing your love to your significant other is important, as it increases the feeling of love and closeness."
Submitted by EeriL
24. "Never forget to tell your spouse you love them every day, even if you’re mad."
Submitted by laurenm485bd1da0
25. "Work together as a team. It doesn’t matter what happens as long as you work together as a team."
Submitted by kayladanieler
26. "Your spouse is your teammate, your coach, your lover, your comedian, your counselor, and your best and truest friend."
Submitted by Courtney Nicole Briley, Facebook
27. "Slow down and enjoy what you have at the moment. Let things come naturally, and be content with what you already have: each other."
Submitted by mayanac
28. "Every marriage is different. Don’t compare your marriage to other couples who may appear to have it sorted/better/easy."
Submitted by prairiehunter
29. "It's important to take all advice with a grain of salt. Only you know yourself and your relationship."
Submitted by Natalie Zollinger Platt, Facebook