We recently asked experienced married couples of the BuzzFeed Community to share with us what they’ve learned about marriage. Here are the responses:
1. "Always put your marriage before the argument."
Submitted by Diana Horne, Facebook
2. "Be a united front."
Submitted by Roja Horchata Kurtz, Facebook
3. "There will be ups and downs. Acknowledge them both when they happen, but remember the ups."
Submitted by Kristy June Greefkes, Facebook
4. "Don’t belittle your spouse. Always look at each other as equals. Yes, you have both have strengths and weaknesses but work together."
Submitted by ericad4d565c734
5. "Realizing that sometimes YOU are the one being an idiot. That's it in a nutshell. Understanding that you, yourself, are not always in the right."
Submitted by Joy Boggio, Facebook
6. "Don’t hold anything in when something is wrong. Your partner probably already knows. Rip the bandaid off and that’s when the healing can begin. Sometimes it has to really hurt before it can heal."
Submitted by whitneyh49ca691ff
7. "Your tone of voice can turn a mature discussion into a HUGE argument. Think about your tone and your word choices when trying to resolve an issue. Also you are on the same team sometimes no one is 'right'."
Submitted by yogiwitharunningproblem
8. "Talk to each other and let one another know what you're needing. Trust one another. Laugh, it's free. Don't try to change them, but be willing to grow together. Find things to do apart. Love one another and forgive."
Submitted by Donna Stockton, Facebook
9. "You are not always going to like each other. Sometimes you will really hate them, but as long as you still love, you will be OK."
Submitted by Ali Butcher, Facebook
10. "I think that being able to laugh with each other, and at each other, at the darkest of times, is the primary glue that has held us together."
Submitted by Lydia Jalagonia, Facebook
11. "Definitely use humor to cope. Humor has saved us so many times over the last three decades."
Submitted by Patty Smith, Facebook
12. "Through the best and worst of times it comes down to communication, understanding, sex, and laughter. Be strong enough to sometimes hear the truth as someone else sees it."
Submitted by Benita N Gordon Navarro-Stokey, Facebook
13. "Don't forget to flirt with each other; it's fun. Remember to kiss. Have sex at least once a week. And don't rush it. Take your time. Enjoy yourself and each other."
Submitted by Kelly Maldia, Facebook
14. "Make sure to touch each other affectionately every day, even in non-sexual ways. A hand rubbing your back, a hug for no reason, or even a silly pinch on the butt keeps those warm fuzzies going."
Submitted by Sarah Daugherty, Facebook
15. "It is important to make a conscious effort to make time for each other as a couple; not as mom and dad or roommates but as sweethearts."
Submitted by Nitisha Dabholkar, Facebook
16. "Never take each other for granted and don't assume your spouse's love is unconditional. Work at your relationship and don't think that just because you're married you can coast. Cherish and support each other every day!"
Submitted by Amy Mueller Gallo, Facebook
17. "Be polite. Don't forget to say, 'Thank you.'"
Submitted by Apollina Vita, Facebook
18. "1) Communicate openly and honestly; 2) Communicate early and often; 3) No rash decisions; 4) Everything is negotiable; and 5) Love unabashedly."
Submitted by Thom Patterson, Facebook
19. "Have conversations. It’s important to spend time talking to each other, from big, intimate conversations to mundane little anecdotes. Be vulnerable. Stare at each other, every so often. Never underestimate the power of a simple 'look of love'."
Submitted by julias45a27741e
20. "Communicate. There's so such thing as an issue that's too small, or too big, or too embarrassing to talk about between partners."
Submitted by Katherine Stephanis, Facebook
21. "Don't listen to those people that say don't go to bed angry. Absolutely go to bed angry. Angry tired people make bad decisions."
Submitted by Nichole Howell-Wolfe, Facebook
22. "There is no room in a marriage for games. Say what you mean and don’t expect mind reading. If you don’t get whatever is bothering you out it will fester and rot your relationship. Be open and honest but kind."
Submitted by lauray6
23. "If you’re not learning together, you’re growing apart."
Submitted by Jban
24. "That marriage counseling does NOT equal failure. It means that you love your spouse and asking for help can lead to you loving each other in the best way possible."
Submitted by rachelm47be0a339
25. "Never take each other for granted. You must take time to invest and build on that friendship."
Submitted by rosah48ac20c37
26. "Marry your best friend (whom you're hot for) and you'll love it!"
Submitted by Erika Bromley, Facebook
27. "Don’t just express your love in words. Show your love every way you can, and never take it for granted."
Submitted by Christina K
28. "Very often you have to choose - do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Always choose happy."
Submitted by lucy49b3e9eb2