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    26 Thoughts I Had While Watching The Pilot Of "Glee" For The First Time

    Why did no one tell me Mr. Schue is a snack?

    Confession: I've never seen an episode of Glee. I've obviously heard fabulous things about the show over the years, but I just never got around to it.

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    And I figured there's no better time than now to catch up on all the TV I missed out on! So here are my thoughts on the pilot:

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    1. No way, Jane Lynch is in this?! She's sooo good at playing the bad guy. Perfect casting.

    Coach Sue yelling into a microphone
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    2. Excuse me, why did no one tell me the main teacher in this show is a SNACK?! He makes me wanna take Spanish again.

    Mr. Schue staring at the wall
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    3. OMG! It's Mr. Bates from Freaky Friday!!! I hope he's a better teacher in this show.

    Mr. Ryerson from Glee and Mr. Bates from Freaky Friday
    Fox/ Buena Vista

    4. I guess I spoke too soon...

    Emma saying that Mr. Ryerson was fired, and Rachel saying that he touched and caressed Hank (a student)
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    5. Emma is really ahead of her time with the constant cleaning of public surfaces.

    Emma with antibacterial wipes and gloves
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    6. Anyone else watch Tina slapping her thighs on stage and immediately think of Mean Girls?

    Tina slapping her thighs and the Plastics from Mean Girls slapping their thighs
    Fox/ Paramount

    7. Is it just me, or is Rachel the most pretentious teenager in the history of teen dramas?

    Rachel explaining she puts gold stars behind her name because they're a metaphor for her being a star
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    8. I wonder which song Rachel has on her MySpace page. Probably something from Les Mis.

    Rachel on her computer saying her MySpace keeps her too busy to date
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    9. WTH is wrong with this school where they just toss people in dumpsters and throw drinks in people's faces??

    Rachel with a drink all over her that someone threw at her face
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    10. Maybe the school should focus less on the Cheerios making it onto Fox Sports Net and more on their bullying.

    Cheerleaders posting mean comments on Rachel's MySpace
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    11. So far, Rachel seems like a horrible person. Why is she the lead of the show??

    Rachel saying the lead solo should not be given to a boy in a wheelchair
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    12. Okay, this principal is a TOTAL asshat. Ableism is alive and well, folks.

    The principal calling Artie a cripple
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    13. This chick is tripping. Your sweet husband just surprised you at work with your favorite sandwich, and you're pissed about the mayo?! Just scrape it off!

    Mrs. Schue asking what is wrong with her husband.
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    14. Do people actually do this? I'm very concerned right now.

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    15. Ummm, okay? The inappropriate teacher is back and pushing drugs on Mr. Schue? Can someone please explain why he's getting ANY airtime?

    Mr. Ryerson saying he makes more money as a drug dealer than as a teacher.
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    16. LMAO, this is such a dick move, but I have to admit I laughed really hard here.

    Puck volunteering to sing and just farting instead
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    17. So no one's gonna say anything about Rachel randomly shoving Artie's wheelchair across the stage? Alrighty.

    Rachel shoving Artie's wheelchair across the stage
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    18. Pump the brakes, girlfriend. Kelly Rowland is an INCREDIBLE artist in her own right. I will not stand for you tarnishing her good name.

    Mercedes saying that she's Beyonce and not Kelly Rowland.
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    19. LOL, stashing your secret shopping sprees in the closet so your man doesn't see? Big mood.

    Mr. Schue opening the closet to a bunch of shopping bags
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    20. What's with all the problematic men in this show?! If a woman says no, she means no, dude.

    Emma saying that she's not interested in dating Ken, who responds by asking her how he can get her into his hatchback.
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    21. I know Mr. Schue is married, but these two have SO MUCH chemistry!! I secretly hope they end up together.

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    22. Yikes, Vocal Adrenaline is some stiff competition for our Glee Club... I'm a bit worried now. Mostly because of their cool outfits.

    Vocal Adrenaline wearing cute polka dot dresses
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    23. Yesss, Finn saving Artie from the horrific porta potty smells warms my heart!

    Finn helping Artie out of a porta potty the jocks locked him in.
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    24. The casual homophobia from the jocks is not cute, guys.

    Puck asking Finn if he's quitting football to join Homo Explosion
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    25. Aww, their performance is so good that Mr. Schue will stay! This is the wholesome content I need.

    Mr. Schure impressed by the performance and saying it would kill him if they won nationals without him.
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    26. Glee is the perfect combo of teen dramas and musicals — my two favorite genres! Despite all the problematic guys, this show is dope AF. I finally get why so many people are into it.

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