1. Remember Ben? Ross doesn’t. At least, not on Thanksgiving.
2. Ross’s stint with fatherhood started off strong, singing the Monkees’ theme song to a very pregnant Carol during Thanksgiving Season 1, as her new love looked on…
But that doesn’t count because Ben wasn’t actually born yet and Ross was still in love with Carol.
3. Ten years, friends of Friends. Ten Turkey Day episodes. And nary a Ben Geller-Willick-Bunch to be seen.
But no, Ross. Your “thing” is totally “being a good father.”
4. And Emma. Oh, sweet, long-napping, perfect sleeper Emma.
She naps so well through her first Thanksgiving that Rachel completely forgot she was there.
5. I don’t know about you, but I want to sign up for the infant who doesn’t wake up from their nap FOR THE ENTIRE DURATION OF FREAKING THANKSGIVING.
Where do I get one of those? Because instead I had this red, screamy, cry-y thing at my dinner table.
6. Like, it’s one thing that we barely glimpse Ben and/or Emma on a regular day.
Dad’s wedding? Nah. The birth of your sibling? Double nah. But Thanksgiving?! Every year?! C’mon!
Fun fact: Ben and Emma never actually met onscreen, though Ross once pretended to show someone a picture of them together. Reddit is pretty sure that Ross lost custody of Ben on account of his “rage”…amongst other things.
7. And then just when we think we’ve made it through the series without ever seeing a Geller child on Thanksgiving, Phoebe convinces Rachel to skip the holiday altogether and enter Emma in a beauty pageant.
FRIENDS: If they’re not ignoring their kids, they’re exploiting them.
8. DO THESE CHILDREN EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE GELLER BOWL?
And is that tacky Troll doll in Ben’s apartment? Or Emma’s teenage bedroom?
Gah! Ross loved Carol, not Susan! An earlier version of this post conflated the two.