We Tried Stiletto Nails And Only One Of Us Wanted To Claw Our Eyes Out

"You're a badass bitch."

We are Ochi and Morgan: working moms of young kids who decided to try navigating life with stiletto nails.

Instagram: @ochi_mama

Oh, hi. How you doin'?

Usually, we keep our nails short and bare. Because #MomLife.

instagram.com

But we figured if Kim Kardashian and Tess Holliday can mom with manicured talons, why not us? So we shimmied down to celeb favorite Priscilla Ono Salon in Montebello to get some Instagram-worthy nails of our very own.

instagram.com

THOSE ARE OUR NAILS!!!!

Basically, this is the nail art equivalent of going 0–60 in a day. We were nail n3wbs. It was...challenging, to say the least.

BuzzFeedVideo / Via youtube.com

Heading into the experience, we expected a week full of frustration and regret.

instagram.com

Ochi: I kept coming across pictures of these badass moms on Instagram rocking beautiful nail art. I couldn't understand how they could handle the day to day of being a parent with their nails. Didn't the nails get dirty? Did they scratch their kids by accident? Did they ever get poop underneath their nails? I needed to know!

I usually don't get manicured. I don't see the point. And until recently I haven't thought about acrylic nails since I was a little girl and made my mom buy me press-on nails which wouldn't stay on, causing me to swear off of fancy lady nails for the rest of my life.

I mean, look at those beasts.

instagram.com

Morgan: No. NOPE. No. I'd never had acrylics before and holy hell they are not for me. Gold chrome nails have always been something I wanted, but even the lure of shiny and chrome glory couldn't get me used to these nails. A guy on the street told me I looked like Anna Nicole Smith, which added an additional NOPE for me.

Sure, so there was something kind of nice about having grown-up fancy nails, but holy shit, I am just not made to put beauty ahead of comfort, and these nails were the epitome of discomfort. So thick. So clumsy. So unable to pick a paperclip up off my desk.

Ochi took to the nails like a natural, while Morgan could not get her shit together.

instagram.com

Ochi: Being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever done. Throw in mega-long nails and add the challenge of trying to get something basic done like changing a diaper, and you actually accomplish it without getting poop under your nails, you feel pretty awesome. I think we can all use a little more awesome in our lives.

Morgan: So, full disclosure, I was freaking out the entire week I had these nails on, certain I couldn't type or focus with them on, feeing useless every time I used my computer, only to find that my trackpad was actually broken and it wasn't the entirely the nails after all. Still, the well of my discontent had been dug, and I never recovered. #DownWithNails

Final thoughts:

Morgan Shanahan

Ochi: In the end, I loved having them. Yes, they can be annoying when you're trying to button up a shirt or open a soda tab, but overall the experience was really positive and very fun.

Morgan: I couldn't take it and cut mine off after seven days. I'm still trying to get the remnants off. While Ochi kept telling me she'd keep them as long as possible since fancy nails don't come cheap, you honestly couldn't have paid me enough money to keep them on for one more minute. My one positive takeaway? Long nails might be a thing I could get into, I'll just stick with my natural nails, which aren't a full centimeter thick.