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Parents

13 Things Moms Do Online That Would Never Fucking Happen In Real Life

Like, idk, talk to adults?

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1. We clean our houses for the 'gram, but only the bit that's in frame.

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Behind us, there is crayon on the walls. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2. We bond over wine, even if it means cheers-ing literally no one.

And everyone at the same time.

3. We've been known to mock our children's meltdowns once or twice.

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Yes, we try to comfort them first. But sometimes they're just inconsolable over their eggs and you're left with no option but to laugh. Silently. Via your phone.

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4. We appear in family vacation photographs.

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99% of the time it's us behind the lens.

5. We happily take advice from total strangers.

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But advice from strangers IRL? You'd honestly rather eat end-of-day mall food.

6. We're all "mom hair don't care" in our carpool line selfies.

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EF getting out of the car in front of actual humans dressed like that, tho.

7. We dare to disagree with the PTA.

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Well, the bravest among us do. Personally I do not fuck with the PTA.

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8. We also rant wildly against the touching of the pregnant belly.

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IRL, these shirts only encourage people, tbh.

9. We show off books we know we'll never have time to read.

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But it's nice to pretend. Maybe when the kids move out?

10. We get lost in the moment and share the name of our best babysitter.

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That is some shit you would only ever do for likes.

11. We feel inadequate about our school lunch game.

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Remember the good 'ol days when you could blissfully believe all lunches contained PBJ sandwiches and pre-sliced carrot sticks?

12. We take photos of our coffee simply as proof that we tried to drink it warm.

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13. We learn that there's a community for every type of parent, even if it's not in your neighborhood.

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Hot mess moms, unite. And type A moms, too.

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