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Hayley Williams Opens Up About Quitting Paramore And Battling Depression

"I don’t think I understood how dangerous hopelessness is. Everything hurts."

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But there was once a time when the fate of their music and the band itself were unknown.

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In a new intimate interview with The FADER, Hayley Williams opened up about the time she quit the band for a moment and her ongoing battle with depression.

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It was during the summer of 2015 when Hayley debated returning to the group she’d been a part of since she was a young teenager:

I just was done. I thought, There’s gotta be something else that I’m good at in my life. Maybe it’s time for me to go find that.

But with the help of her lead songwriting partner Taylor York and the album's co-producer Justin Meldal-Johnson, Hayley was able to find the inspiration she needed.

Despite taking a break from the band, the Taylor and Justin decided to send Hayley unfinished tracks just to see what magic would form from them.

We both had doubts, and we had unity in that. I told her she didn’t have to do stuff. But I just kept writing, and then there was this time that she got it again. –Taylor York

So, it's no surprise the first song created for the album was titled "Forgiveness."

But there were other factors that hindered the 28-year-old artist from wanting to continue with the group. Along with exhaustion, Hayley also revealed she's been battling with depression for a few years.

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"Man, I don’t know. I don’t feel as hopeful as I did as a teenager.”

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"For the first time in my life, there wasn’t a pinhole of light at the end of the tunnel. I thought, I just wish everything would stop."

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She admitted there were days when she would just stay in bed and watch The Office for the whole day.

"It wasn’t in the sense of, I’m going to take my life. It was just hopelessness. Like, What’s the point? I don’t think I understood how dangerous hopelessness is. Everything hurts.”

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And fans can hear her pain throughout the album, as she sings of troubled times with her husband Chad Gilbert, holding onto hope, and faking happiness.

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To read more of Hayley's awesome in-depth interview with The Fader, click here.

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