1. Being protective AF over your favorite food:
If u don't like dippin dots fuck u
2. Knowing anything Harry Potter-related can alter your mood:
Just when i think im having a weird morning, JK Rowling apologizes for killing Snape. so im convinced i woke up in a parallel timeline today
3. Respecting anyone who attempts to dance on a table, because we've all been there:
Shoutout to the grown woman dancing on a table who just fell & tackled me with her entire body. Got up and kept dancing #gottadancetillwedie
4. Doing weird stuff with your pet, just because:
MOM!!!! 💓
5. Feeling oddly satisfied when complete strangers like the same things as you:
J cole came on the ice cream shop and everybody; me, other customers, employees all started singing it was truly a beautiful moment.
6. Knowing there's no such thing as too many candles:
I burn so many candles at one time, if I die in a mysterious house fire don't accuse anyone. it's probably my own fault.
7. Getting annoyed by all things misogynistic:
Internalized misogyny is insane. "I hate this girl because she is 'different than me' & I'm nervous that means 'better than me' so I'm mad".
8. And living for a good pun:
a spice girls themed pizza place: slice up ur life. 🍕
9. Been there, done that:
Idk how many times I've peeled off my fake eyelashes, put them down + then later fucking PEED myself because I thought they were a spider.
10. Figuring out the bottle-to-mouth ratio doesn't always work in your favor:
Google search results for: how to not suck at drinking water
11. When "adulting" is just a struggle in itself:
Got a beer and a lunchable in Nashville today. Adulting really well.
12. Asking for a friend:
"can u order a threesome on amazon?"
13. Because everyone knows being single has its advantages and disadvantages:
being single is cool until you open a perfect avocado at breakfast and u have no one to show it to.
14. Taking the phrase "treat yo self" a little too far:
really gotta stop eating bagels.
15. Realizing your life choices have got a little out of hand:
I just realized I haven't drank any water in like 3 or 4 days. Honestly looking to the sky wondering who is letting me be a person.
16. When your native roots are strong AF:
I feel like I love New Jersey so much if u cut me open it wouldn't be muscle it would be Taylor ham.
17. And finally, because being awkward just comes so naturally:
Told my uber driver to "have a good nice"