1.
Queue: *is pronounced "Q" ueue:
2.
the other day my little cousin forgot to take the spoon off of her plate before warming up her leftovers...
3.
How I clean up when I do it without someone telling me to do it
4.
My organs after I wake up at 2 am and drink the bottle of water by my bed
5.
When u gather the courage to double text them but they still leave you on read 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
6.
Smart, cute little boy 😊😊
7.
Toddler: Mommy. What do you call a dinosaur poot? Me: I don’t know. Tell me. Toddler: *giggling excessively* Me: *chuckling nervously* Toddler: A blast from the past! Both of us:
8.
tony stark realizing he wasted his life on spiderman for nothing
9.
drunk me bumping into everyone at parties thinking they’re bumping into me
10.
Shocked to discover that after working all day I have to go to “bed” and then “get up” and do it...”again”??? Wow. Just wow.
11.
When it’s time to get your money from people that owe you.
12.
Gmail when I sign in on a new device
13.
Me when my people need to vent to me.
14.
if you offer me an Oreo, and I bite down into a wasabi flavored cookie, it’s hands on sight... https://t.co/c4s1Rd7I15
15.
my phone after i take 15 selfies to delete them all
16.
your girl coming over to show you her new nails that she just got done
17.
Am I on drugs? I see a bird https://t.co/uiKGJquKvw
18.
Popeyes cooks frying the 739th chicken sandwich of the day & it’s only 2pm
19.
During my interview today i poured some water into a cup and it overflowed a little bit “Nervous?” asked the interviewer I simply replied, “No I just always give 110%”
20.
when you fall asleep in class for 5 minutes and then this happens:
21.
Me outside as a kid pretending to be Storm and commanding the elements..
22.
Me to me after I send *one* email.
23.
*squidward minding his business* spongebob and patrick:
24.
When I'm broke as fvck then she calls to cancel on the date Me:
25.
How dudes feel when they finally get to be the LITTLE SPOON!! 😂🥄
26.
The Oscar for best death or dying by a duck goes to.
27.
when you’re in a depressed mood but still try to have fun
28.
So this is life outside the womb huh? I’m unimpressed.
29.
“ This is a collect call from the Dep—“
30.
Picky eaters after eating something that isn’t chicken strips and fries
31.
the world’s greatest neurosurgeons in one pic https://t.co/1m7oOtEsx6
32.
Me, leaving the function immediately after arriving
33.
Walking into my kids HS graduation bc I had them at 42:
34.
boy I thought this was a Doberman with a pedicure
35.
*plans a trip* Groupchat when it’s time to pay: