1. This very distraught fresher:
2. While pointing at a Grade I listed parish church:
"I like York, but it's a bit old-fashioned."
3. This student's sudden realisation:
4. This opportunistic student:
"I just want to sled down Clifford's Tower, I don't care if it's anti-Semitic!"
5. And this discerning student to his friend about Aldi sausage rolls:
6. These hopefully not fatal, last words:
"I mean, they say, 'Don't feed the geese', but what harm can it honestly do?"
7. This wise advice:
8. This eleventh hour moment of clarity:
"I was so drunk last night, I almost went home with some guy I didn't know, but then he said he lived in Halifax and I saw sense."
9. This definitely sober student:
10. This soon-to-be graduate:
"I was looking at my graduation robes and I realised, 'This is what comes before death, isn't it?'"
11. This ride-or-die fresher:
12. This hardcore student:
"I've hidden our sleeping bags behind a bookshelf on the third floor – when the porters close the desk at 1am, sneak up the back stairwell and we'll stay the night..."
13. This reality-shifting exclamation:
14. Overseen, this guy keeping the impending apocalypse real simple for everyone:
15. This worryingly specific heads-up:
16. This student-turned-architect:
17. A tourist going over River Ouse:
"Is that the Thames?"
18. This thoughtful parent-to-be:
19. A tourist outside Clifford's Tower:
"Does Clifford live there?"
20. Overseen, this possible Banksy in Tang Hall:
21. A tourist outside York Castle Museum:
"Is that City Hall?"
22. This politically unaware student:
23. This truly sage student:
"I chose Vanbrugh because it is old and by the water, like the rotting carcass of a beached whale."
24. Overseen, this motto for life:
25. A very enthused Open Day student guide:
"And that's the security centre, and that's a burly security guard, and that's... just a girl."