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11 Robots Who Will Certainly Rise Up To Destroy All Humans

This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but with a beep boop.

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1. Welcome you home.

Created by SoftBank Robotics Corp in February 2015, Pepper the humanoid is designed to emotionally interact with people who find social situations difficult.

Why it's better than you: Pepper will never get sad or grumpy or have a bad day. Imagine being consistently happy to see someone every day for even a week, let alone a year or even forever. What absolute hell.

2. Drive a car.

Created by RobotsLAB, the robot can steer the car and deftly avoid obstacles. With a laser rangefinder attached to the car's base, the connected robot can learn its surroundings through mapped algorithms.

Why it's better than you: This robot retains all the information it learns from mapping after just one pass through an unfamiliar route. Without a map on the road less travelled, all it would take for you to become lost would be a few wrong turns.

3. Write a beautiful letter.

Touted as "technology for thoughtful companies", Bond allows a human person to send other human people a handwritten letter without them ever touching a pen.

Why it's better than you: If no one can read your messy handwriting, you can choose a style for Bond to write for you. And this is so much easier than writing out by hand 50 Christmas thank-you notes.

4. Harvest food.

Pulling up fresh fruit straight out of the ground, this robot is one of many in a fleet of robotic farmers, which can prune vines, cut down fields, and even remove weeds.

Why it's better than you: Yes, it's just pulled out one strawberry. But this robot will never tire of collecting crops. Lunchtime? It's working. Dinnertime? It's out in the fields. It doesn't need to rest for a quick loo break. It doesn't need to rest at all.


5. Create a mouthwatering recipe.

Created by IBM, Chef Watson works out interesting flavour combinations from thousands of recipes featured in Bon Appetit magazine. Disappointingly, you won't find it toiling away in the kitchen, sweating robot oil over a hot stove.

Why it's better than you: Wouldn't it be easier to whip together a tried-and-tested meal than to do the Watson method of flicking through and analysing 10,000 recipes? Or you could just order a takeaway. Mmm, yes – the easiest option.

6. Carve a pumpkin for Halloween.

This industrial robot was made at the Michigan Science Centre and is programmed to carve pumpkins of a variety of sizes in just over two minutes per pumpkin.

Why it's better than you: After buying a seasonal gourd and dragging it home, hollowing it out leaves you with a kitchen table (and floor) covered in pumpkin flesh and seeds. "I'll save these for later," you tell yourself, but later will NEVER come. If you were given two minutes to carve a pumpkin, you'd barely have the stem out. But in all of that time, this robot has filled your house to the rafters with carved pumpkins, all of them madly grinning at you.

7. Vacuum your house.


The Roomba was created in 2002 to easily vacuum around the home. With simple sensors all over the Roomba's exterior, it can navigate a room without bumping into objects, be programmed to perform repeat tasks regularly, and automatically return to its charging station when on low battery.

Why it's better than you: This little robot will always be ready to clean your floors with no need to "get into the zone" for tidying. Once you've done any bit of housework, doing it again and again probably feels like you're trapped in an endless cycle with no escape. Why do laundry when you can buy new clothes? Why wash dishes when you can buy disposable kitchenware? And why vacuum your house when the Roomba will happily do it for you?

8. Babysit your child while you shop.

Launched by Japanese retailer Aeon Co., these four-and-a-half-foot-tall robots delight and entertain children while their parents shop around the store.

Why it's better than you: You could walk grudgingly through the supermarket aisles, while listening to the monotonous shopping soundtrack your children sing of "Can we go home yet?" and "Can we get some sweets?" But you could also have this block of metal and plastic looking after your child. Not indefinitely though: You still have to collect them on your way out. Or do you?


9. Play chess.

Playing a timed game of chess, these two robots endlessly run through calculations of their next move based on their opponent's previous gameplay and possible next moves in seconds.

Why they're better than you: Unless you're a very keen chess player, eventually you will become tired of moving little tokens on a board. As you begin to lose interest in the game, you'll get lazy and make mistakes to the great advantage of your more serious opponent.

10. Wield a katana.

Duelling against expert swordsman Machii Isao (sort of), this is the MOTOMAN-MH24, a robot with a sword. And it has vengeance in its heart.

Why it's better than you: Delivering powerful slices with precise moves, this robot is very efficient and its super-slicing arm will never ever get tired of slicing away at lemons, cutting mats, flowers, and onions.

11. Make more robots.

Cambridge University researchers created this "mother" robot to successfully design, build, and test her "children". Choosing the more desirable traits, the mother robot breeds better robots in every litter, simulating natural selection without any need for human intervention.

Why it's better than you: That's just not ethical for humans, is it?