2.Begin that new full-time job of endlessly hitting refresh on your ex-lover's Facebook page.
3.Replay on infinite loop the songs you and your lover used to listen to together.
4.Discover a new affinity with your bed.
5.Do everything as normal except add WHISKY.
6.Attend a wedding.
7.Watch entire seasons of television shows in one sitting.
8.Drive your friends nuts by losing the ability to talk about anything but your ex.
9.Lose your shit when they use words like "plenty" and "fish".
10.Invent a unique and highly personal new system of time.
11.Let personal hygiene standards drop with inverse proportion to how bad you feel.
12.Meticulously comb through all your past communication in the hope of discovering "where it all went wrong."
13.Let the entire world know, with lengthy detail, every component of your mental breakdown.
14.Decide against going to a professional for that "fabulous, new you" haircut.
15.Rage at all and any who dare speak your former flame's name.
16.Go into MANIC SUPER SONIC OVERLOAD PARTY drive in the hope that it will fill the terrifying black hole that's been threatening to devour you.
17.Hit up every ex in your phonebook ...
18.... and/or tumble into the nearest, highly inappropriate, rebound relationship that you know you'll later regret.
19.Write poems, make drawings and sing songs about your ex, in volumes that verge on "creepy."
20.Finally accept that the relationship is over, mourn what was lost, celebrate what was had, and allow the pain to subside, putting you at risk of feeling all of this all over again, but over someone else.