How You Thought Sex Worked When You Were A Kid

    So innocent...

    Remember when you were young and pure and had no idea what sex was?

    It seemed to be everywhere, but gosh darnit, what WAS it?

    Of course, you had some theories. Sex is...

    Falling asleep next to someone?

    Hugging really hard?

    Doing pushups on top of someone?

    Swapping saliva?

    Doing a really intense dance?

    Getting naked and jumping on the bed?

    Some kind of rubbing?

    Listening to a Barry White song?

    Obviously taking off your pants was required.

    It sounded like birds and bees were somehow involved.

    There's also that thing about storks and babies and sex all being related somehow. Yeah... good luck figuring out that one.

    But then one day you made a very smart observation on male and female anatomy.

    Hmm... It all started making sense...

    Of course! The boy pees inside the girl!

    Way to go, genius! You must've felt pretty clever... until mom and dad sat you down for the most HORRIFIC talk of your life.

    .......

    Actual sex is WAY WORSE THAN ANYTHING YOU COULD'VE EVER IMAGINED!

    Your response:

    *#*#$&@%^#!!!!

    Boy, were you sooooo off...

    All adults suddenly looked like this...

    But don't worry, they said, someday YOU WILL HAVE DISGUSTING SEX, TOO!

    Goodbye, innocence! The world will never look the same again...

    ...not even your toys.

    THE END