19 Things Your Parents Wouldn’t Buy You Even Though You Wanted Them So, So Bad

They were expensive, or dangerous, or just plain ridiculous, but when you were a kid, you just HAD to have them…

1. Gak, Smud, Slime, or any other ooze that Nickelodeon sold

2. Jarts, aka Lawn Darts

They’re basically flying metal spikes. For sale. To Children.

3. A Race Car Bed

4. Anything neon. Anything.

5. Your Own Makeup

6. Virtual Boy

In retrospect it’s probably better no one ever bought this for you. Aside from crappy gameplay, users also complained of frequent nausea and headaches.

7. Inflatable Furniture

8. A Pet Tarantula

9. Pokemon Cards

“Gambling addiction? What gambling addiction? Come on, Mom and Dad, lend me the dough for just one more pack. I’m good for it, I swear! I’m just going through a rough patch…”

10. A BB Gun

Remember how NOT FUNNY the quote “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid” was when you were actually a kid?!

11. Pogo Balls

“You’ll break your ankles, kid.”

12. Creepy Crawlers Oven Set

“You’ll burn your hands off, kid.”

13. Robots

“You’ll reach technological singularity, thus causing the robot to rebel and kill its human masters, kid.”

14. The incredibly sugary cereal from whatever movie you just saw

16. Mortal Kombat!

Bonus points if you could get the bloodier, gorier Sega Genesis version

17. Garbage Pail Kids

To be fair, they were pretty disgusting

18. Shark Shirts

“Mom, Dad, don’t you get it?! It’s like the shark’s ACTUALLY biting through my shirt!”

19. Fake Poop

“Mom, Dad, I really, really, need this. It’s for something important, I promise…”

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