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Meet The Cast From Your Childhood Boardgame, "Guess Who?"

Who really were the people we invited into our homes as kids? The unofficial backgrounds for our "Guess Who?" squad (each currently collecting dust in a basement near you).

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Occupation: Ex-Congressman

Characteristic traits: Beaten down by the system.

Fun Fact: Stepped down after being embarrassed when someone he knew saw him coming out of an adult bookstore. Hence the permanent red cheeks.


Occupation: Pastry chef at Bono's Pizzeria.

Character traits: Being friendzoned for so long has caused him to go on a rebellious streak (he is clearly in the initial stages of sporting a Mohawk).

Fun Fact: He can fit the entire width of his hand between his eyebrows.


Occupation: Trumpeter.

Character traits: The shape of his head doesn't allow him to fit into cars and is therefore obligated to lease convertibles, effectively slowly zapping him of his equity.

Fun Fact: Can hold 4 entire apples in those blustery windbag cheeks of his.


Occupation: Cellphone salesman.

Characteristic traits: Keeps asking "Can you hear me now?"

Fun Fact: Grew his mustache to rely on his sex appeal after being banned from showing off his mid riff to boost sales.


Occupation: Forced into retirement after 47 years at the United States Postal Service.

Character traits: Nosy.

Fun Fact: She's got thousands of "missing" packages in her basement, dating back to the 60's.


Occupation: Owns a small start-up putting on birthday parties for girls.

Character traits: Bouts of crippling depression.

Fun Fact: Always blushing and flirty, the moms at these parties never recommend her to their friends.


Occupation: Telemarketer.

Character traits: One look at her would tell you she's addicted to plastic surgery. She also was the former bass player of a rock band before they hit it big. She hasn't been the same since.

Fun Fact: SHE is really a HE.


Occupation: Puppeteer.

Characteristic traits: Helps fight childhood obesity by creating shows targeted towards healthy snacks and 30 minutes of exercise everyday.

Fun Fact: Has a PhD in biochemistry, but works as a puppeteer because he just loves serving the community with a smile.


Occupation: Software engineer.

Character traits: Considered "sensitive" by the opposite gender, but behind those glasses lurks an animal.

Fun Fact: All those days the printer wasn't working, led him to develop skills in Papier Mâché.


Occupation: Bilingual translator at a Fortune 500.

Characteristic traits: Always full of energy thanks to the the four cups of coffee mixed with Opiates by 10AM.

Fun Fact: Can conjugate any verb you throw at her.


Occupation: Dentist and Mall Santa during the holidays.

Character traits: Will give you the extra hit of Novocaine if you ask. He served in Vietnam. He knows the day-to-day struggle is real.

Fun Fact: Added balloon animal-making to his repertoire.


Occupation: World-renowned Psychiatrist

Characteristic traits: A calming influence, except while on the road. Don't let his nice demeanor fool you when behind the wheel. If you cut Paul off, he'll destroy you in an instant.

Fun Fact: Divorced with drug addicted children and cousin of Popcorn tycoon, Orville Redenbacher.

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