7. Being the automatic translator whenever anything in your language is present: people, films, books, the translations of nutrition facts on food labels, etc…
Do you really need me to tell you that “hydrates de carbone” means “carbohydrates?” Is this really something you need reinforced?
8. Having people assume that, since you know one foreign language, you can therefore help them with any given language, no matter what it is.
“You need my help? Okay, well I don’t speak Spanish… No, it doesn’t matter than Spain and France are next to each other. The languages are not the same.”
10. Autcorrect. Just, autocorrect.
OH MY GOD. ACTUALLY THE WORST.
This is what happens when you type English into a French keyboard. It’s mayhem.
15. Anything to do with accents: sounding American when you speak your foreign language, sounding foreign when you speak English, getting accents mixed up, etc. It’s a struggle.
“Ah, crap- did I really just do a guttural ‘R?’ I’m not speaking French right now! What am I doing??”
17. When someone thinks they speak your language perfectly even though they only had, like, one semester of it in high school but they insist on using it anyways and it’s awful.
“Uh huh, what you just said actually makes no sense, and half of it was just American words said with an accent.”
19. Getting grammar rules mixed up.
The English sentence is ‘Oh yea, I saw him there when I bought that.’ In French, you say ‘Oui, je l’y ai vu quand je l’ai acheté.’ Direct translation? ‘Yes, I he there saw when I it bought.’ Now YOU try to not get that shit mixed up when switching languages.
21. IDIOMS. They never translate between languages, and languages don’t really share idioms.
“Vous avez le cul bordé de nouilles?* Oh my god, are you okay? Oh… another damn idiom. Sorry.”
*This is a real idiom that literally means “to have an ass lined with noodles.” The idiomatic meaning? “To be lucky.” Yea, I don’t get it either.
- Over two dozen people were injured after a truck crashed into a crowd at a Mardi Gras parade, New Orleans police said.