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    19 Awe-Inspiringly Perfect Moments Of Historical Sass

    BOW DOWN to the sass-masters of the past.

    1. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx

    2. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill

    3. "[Ernest Hemingway] has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner

    4. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain

    5. "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright

    6. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating

    7. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde

    8. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -- Billy Wilder

    9. "He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr

    10. "[They use] statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts- for support rather than illumination." -- Andrew Lang

    11. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West

    12. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest Tucker

    13. "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -- Charles, Count Talleyrand

    14. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Foote

    15. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop

    16. "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -- Moses Hadas

    17. "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -- Jack E. Leonard

    18. "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." -- Thomas Brackett Reed

    19. "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of anyone I know." -- Abraham Lincoln