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15 Shakespearean Insults To Replace Your Boring Ones

Because sometimes "Bitch!" just doesn't pack enough punch.

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1. "They lie deadly that tell you you have good faces." / Via

Translation: "GIRRRL, you UGLY."


2. "This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh!" / Via

Translation: "Fat-ass."

(Henry IV)

3. "I think thy horse will sooner con an oration than thou learn a prayer without book." / Via

Translation: "You're dumb as hell."

(Troilus and Cressida)

4. "Methinks't thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee." / Via

Translation: "DUDE, you SUCK."

(All's Well That Ends Well)

5. "I desire we may be better strangers." / Via

Translation: "GTFO NOW."

(As You Like It)

6. "Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." / Via

Translation: "Son of a bitch!"

(King Lear)

7. "More of your conversation would infect my brain." / Via

Translation: "Shut the living hell up!"


8. "Thou art unfit for any place but hell." / Via

Translation: "Go to hell!"

(Richard III)

9. "Thy words are blunt and so art thou." / Via

Translation: "DUMBASS."

(Henry VI, Part II)

10. "Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat." / Via

Translation: "Pig!"

(Henry V)

11. "Sanctimonious pirate." / Via

Translation: "Pompous ass."

(Measure for Measure)

12. "No more brain than a stone." / Via

Translation: "Blockhead."

(Twelfth Night)

13. "Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all." / Via

Translation: "Lying bitch!"

(A Comedy of Errors)

14. "Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit, for I am sick when I do look on thee." / Via

Translation: "Leave me alone or I will KICK YOUR ASS."

(A Midsummer Night's Dream)

15. "Thou hast in thy skull no more brain than I have in mine elbows." / Via

Translate: "You are so FREAKING stupid!"

(Troilus and Cressida)

In conclusion, William Shakespeare = the original sass-master.

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