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86 Questions I Have For Teen Wolf

Seriously, what's the average lifespan for a Beacon Hills resident?

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Season 5b of Teen Wolf premieres on MTV tomorrow but frankly, I have a lot of questions that need to be answered before then.

1. Who are the Dread Doctors again and how are they connected to Theo?

2. Why are they in Beacon Hills?

3. How is this relevant?

4. Do Scott and Stiles still hate each other?

5. Are they going to make up soon?

6. Are Stiles and Malia still together?

7. Are Theo and Malia going to get together?

8. Are Scott and Kira still together?

9. Are Lydia and Parrish together?

10. What is the deal with EVERY couple on the show?

11. Is Sheriff Stilinksi dating Mrs Martin?

12. Is he going to start dating Melissa?

13. Is he going to die? (Please say no.)

14. Is Allison still dead?

15. Is she going to come back from the dead like Hayden and all those other people or is that specific to people Theo and the Dread Doctors are involved with?

16. Where's Deaton?

17. Where's Danny?

18. Where's Isaac? (PLZ COME BACK!)

19. Where's Derek?

20. Where's Peter?

21. Where's Chris Argent?

22. Are Scott, Stiles, and co still in high school?

23. Are they still thinking about college?

24. How old is Theo and why am I supposed to be invested in him?

25. Why did he let his sister die?

26. Is he a Dread Doctor experiment?

27. Is Kate Argent still alive?

28. Why was she brought back, again?

29. Do they still play lacrosse?

30. Where's Coach Finstock?

31. Why can't they just play one game of lacrosse?

32. Are the Beacon Hills High School teachers concerned that literally half of them die every season?

33. Do they notice that their students never actually come to class?

34. What's the average GPA of a Beacon Hills student?

35. Is everyone secretly supernatural?

36. When coming up with the town name, did the Executive Producers just go to Beacon Hill in Boston, stick an "s" on the end and call it creative?

37. Where in California is Beacon Hills, anyway?

38. Has Scott really never killed anyone? I mean really, nobody would blame him.

39. Has it really only been two calendar years since the first episode took place?

40. Did Jackson finish high school in London?

41. Did his parents go with him?

42. What is he doing right now?

43. Is he still angsty af?

44. Does Lydia still talk to him?

45. Does Lydia miss her old metallic eye shadow from seasons 1 and 2?

46. Why does nobody in Beacon Hills seem to question Eichen House's ethicality?

47. What is it like to be out of the loop? It seems like life would be a confusing experience.

48. Does Scott's dad know all of their secrets yet?

49. Where is Scott's dad?

50. Is Scott's dad still alive?

51. Where is Derek?

52. Where is Derek's girlfriend (?), Braeden?

53. How does she seem to know everything?

54. How did he get into the supernatural bounty hunter business?

55. Was it by accident?

56. Are there anymore supernatural beings?

57. Do I need to be doing outside reading to keep up?

58. What's the average lifespan for a Beacon Hills resident?

59. Where's Gerard?

60. Why did nobody else in town think he was sketchy?

61. Why did nobody question him when he kidnapped the principal and replaced him as principal?

62. Why didn't the principal press charges?

63. Where's Greenberg?

64. What did he graduate?

65. Why did Coach hate him so much?

66. Where was Cora for the first half of the series?

67. How did Derek not know she was alive?

68. Where are all the other Hales?

69. Did they ALL die in the fire?

70. Where's Ethan?

71. Is he with Danny?

72. Is Aiden really dead?

73. What did Malia tell everyone when she became a human again?

74. Why is she allowed to be a senior in high school when she can't do basic math?

75. Does anyone on the show have family outside Beacon Hills?

76. What are family visits like?

77. Does the town stress them out?

78. Why is Stiles' first name such a big deal?

79. Is the Stilinski family Polish?

80. Is Mr. McCall hispanic like it was implied in the show?

81. How did Scott end up with the last name McCall when both his parents are hispanic?

82. Can someone give me backstory on every character that entered after season 3?

83. What was the character development this last season?

84. Why isn't anyone allowed to be funny anymore?

85. Is Michael J. Fox finally going to have a cameo at some point?

86. How does one become a writer on this show?

Answer me, Jeff Davis. I JUST WANT BACKSTORY!

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