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A Look Back At Britney Spears' Life According To Covers Of Us Weekly

A story.

Us Weekly has been around since 1977 but was a monthly industry trade magazine until 2000, when it became the tabloid version you see in every supermarket checkout line + tote bag at the beach.

2000 was also the time of Britney Spears. Britney literally grew up on the covers of Us Weekly and is without a doubt the tabloid queen of the past 20 years. Over the past 16 years, Britney has been a darling, then a target, and then a straight-up victim of the tabloid industry.

The first time Britney was on the cover of Us Weekly was on June 4, 2001, and it was because of her virginity — a subject that she was hounded about ever since her debut.

Dec. 1, 2001: Britney is voted one of the "Women of the Year," sandwiched between Condoleezza Rice and that woman from Just Shoot Me.

Feb. 18, 2002: The first (and only) cover story about Britney and Justin's relationship.

Apr. 1, 2002: The breakup.

Aug. 19, 2002: That summer, Britney and Justin apparently ran into each other with a "big fight and dance-off."

Sept. 2, 2002: Us Weekly paints Britney as a "betrayer."

AND THEN, a week later, they ran the complete opposite cover with Justin: "Solo in every way, the sexy singer sets the record straight on his new life, his hot new album Justified, & the truth about all those romance rumors."

Dec. 23, 2002: IT'S WAR.

Jan. 20, 2003: Its been almost a year since they broke up and Britney speaks!

Feb. 17, 2003: For the rest of 2003, Us links Britney with a different random famous guy.

March 17, 2003: A month later, she's with Fred Durst.

Sept. 1, 2003: And by September, she's with Jared Leto.

Sept. 15, 2003: Us takes a break from the weekly Britney boy drama to bring us "Hot new best friends!"

Nov. 10, 2003: Back to another story about Britney hooking up with some random guy. This time --> John Cusack!

Jan. 19, 2004: Shit. She's married.

Jan. 26, 2004: "It's getting nasty!"

May 10, 2004: THE K-FED ERA.

Sept. 6, 2004: BRITNEY + K-FED ARE GETTING MARRIED AND SHE IS A BRIDEZILLA.

Oct. 4, 2004: WAIT, now Us is saying she faked the wedding.

Feb. 8, 2005: Four months later, we have Britney's private album!

Sept. 26, 2005: She's preg.

And then the real drama happens.

Knives are out.

Shit hits the fan.

Nov. 14, 2005: TROUBLE AFTER BABY.

Dec. 19, 2005: Britney apparently kicks K-Fed to the curb.

Apr. 3, 2006: Wait, never mind, now SHE is moving out.

May 22, 2006: OK, now she's trapped.

THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING!

May 29, 2006: There's a secret deal now.

June 3, 2006: THE LAST CHANCE.

June 19, 2006: THE FINAL DAYS.

Oct. 25, 2006: And now here's a break from Britney's life unraveling to a random, totally out-of-place issue about how she got thin.

The narrative resumes.

Nov. 20, 2006: SHE'S GONE!

THE ERA OF K-FED IS OVER.

Nov. 26, 2007: A week after they were officially dunzo, Brit got a new haircut and is back for revenge.

Then things get real bad.

Dec. 11, 2006: We have an appearance by Paris Hilton.

Dec. 18, 2006: A week after that last Paris Hilton cover, there's talk of an INTERVENTION. Us is about to really go in.

Jan. 29, 2007: She takes a picture with some guy named Isaac Cohen and he's already her "NEW MAN!"

Feb. 26, 2007: K-Fed took a picture with Justin Timberlake and it's front-page news. The guy who she was "dating" last month says she's depressed.

March 5, 2007: The head-shaving incident.

March 12, 2007: A week after she shaves her head, for some reason, Kevin speaks.

March 26, 2007: She shares the cover about "Hollywood's drug problem" with Paris and Lindsay.

June 25, 2007: Her mom speaks.

July 31, 2007: Us gets savage.

Aug. 20, 2007: "Yes, it gets even worse."

Aug. 27, 2007: Now the nannies are talking.

Oct. 1, 2007: The worst cover yet.

Nov. 19, 2007: "SICK!"

Dec. 3, 2007: Her childhood is to blame, obviously.

Jan. 21, 2008: Us is basically predicting her suicide.

Feb. 18, 2008: Rock bottom.

March 3, 2008: One last jab at the kids.

Apr. 14, 2008: The mental illness issue.

ANNNND that was it.

After a nearly two-year shitstorm of covers, Us stopped.

Why? Because Britney actually DID get help and she got better.

She went on to have a No. 1 single and album, a successful world tour, and custody of her children.

The first Us Weekly cover she got after her breakdown, recovery, and unlikely comeback was in November 2009. That's over a year and half after he last cover.

Nov. 2, 2009: Us gives credit to Britney's boyfriend for saving her life.

Jan. 25, 2010: She's skinny again!

Oct. 11, 2010: Us finally acknowledges her recovery.

Apr. 18, 2011: THE REDEMPTION ISSUE.

Five years pass without a cover.

Apr. 24, 2016: And here's one last issue about her getting skinny again.

And there you have it: the life and times of Britney Spears through the lens of Us Weekly.

I think this is the only proper way to end this:

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