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Britney Spears Has Been Missing For 22 Days And I'm Worried And Concerned

Britney Watch 2017 has commenced.

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Britney last posted to Instagram on July 4 and it was a Googled image of fireworks. Since that last Instagram, there has been absolutely nothing from her. It's like Britney Spears has disappeared into thin air and I feel like I'm gonna blow chunks!

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It feels like an eternity since we've gotten a chunky-heeled living room fashion show.

Instagram: @britneyspears

I miss seeing the Christmas lights in the back of her photos.

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And to be real with you all, I need her fitness videos. I love when Britney Spears makes me feel inadequate.

Instagram: @britneyspears
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I feel like a sack of shit without her daily 'grams of blurry memes she found on Pinterest.

Instagram: @britneyspears

How am I supposed to know the status of Cameron Diaz' garden without her re-grams?

Instagram: @britneyspears
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...and it feels like hundreds of years since I've seen a damn Victorian child.

Instagram: @britneyspears

WHERE ARE THE DAMN VICTORIAN CHILDREN!?

Instagram: @britneyspears

I miss feeling un-skinny like the dog in this picture...

Instagram: @britneyspears

...and what's a guy got to do to get a picture of a bed in the middle of the forest?!

Instagram: @britneyspears
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Also, WHERE ARE THE PICTURES OF MEDIOCRE SUSHI?!

Instagram: @britneyspears

...and the questionable Barbie worship art.

Instagram: @britneyspears

For fuck sakes, how am I supposed to continue keeping inventory of her massive choker collection without the daily updates?!

Instagram: @britneyspears

But really, I mostly miss this perfect human being (and mom now): Britney Spears.

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This is my call for help. We need you now more than ever, Brit. Come back to Instagram.

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But TBH, I just really need my fix of Victorian-related photography + art.