Music

Why We Demand To See The Director's Cut Of Britney Spears' New Music Video

#JUSTICE4PERFUME.

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First, I have a few questions for you:

Well, DOO DOO DOO! (That's a horn noise.) Then you know Joseph Kahn. He's basically music video director royalty.

Photo by Jeff Bottari / Getty Images for Callaway

Britney Stans are like, "duh" right now.

Anyway, so there is so much drama right now. Joseph Kahn directed Britney's new video for the sleeper hit "Perfume."

View this video on YouTube

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The video has all the makings of a typical Joseph Kahn–Britney fusion video smash.

We have:

There are nipples.

The guy in the video is somewhere between Stephen Dorff in "Everytime" and that French model dude from "Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know" (in terms of hotness).

Now back to Joseph Kahn.

ALL week, Joseph was being totally cryptic. Apparently he made a cut that was his FAVORITE VIDEO OF ALL TIME, but he said Britney's people rejected the edit.

Let me break that down for you: Legendary pop video maker Joseph Kahn, the creator of "TOXIC," "WOMANIZER," AND "STRONGER" music videos, said his "Perfume" edit IS THE BEST THING HE'S EVER DONE.

Last thing, we know there was originally some kind of gun-down scene. This was a paparazzi picture taken of the set.

Raef-Ramirez/AKM-GSI

Is there some type of double homicide?

Does she just kill that douche?

Were Britney and Cindy in on it all along?

THE POSSIBILITIES.

Now I know you're thinking, THIS IS ROYALLY FUCKED UP. I AM BOTH SAD & DEPRESSED & OUTRAGED AT THE SAME TIME. WHAT CAN I DO?!

ANSWER: Sign this petition.

Also say your prayers. The Holy Spearit works in mysterious ways.