WAHHHH WAHHH WAHHH. CRY CRY CRY. I'M A WIDDLE BABY.
WAHHHH LOOK AT MY SAD DROOPY BANGS.
WAHHHH I MISS MY DIAMOND STUDDED EARRINGS!
Well... LISTEN UP, BITCH.
WE. DON'T. GIVE. A. DAMN.
You are good for one thing.
* Makes protest signs. Moves to Brazil. Sets up tents outside some arena or on the beach or something. Begins Occupy Ronaldo movement. Doesn't shower for days. Starts chant *
"WHAT DO WE WANT?"
"Biceps, triceps, nipples, chest, abs, and a nice hot back!"
Lars Baron / Getty Images
* CONTINUES CHANT *
"WE DEMAND"
"BICEPS, TRICEPS, NIPPLES, CHEST, ABS, AND A NICE HOT BACK."
Shaun Botterill / Getty Images
"WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!"
"RIGHT. THE FUCK. NOW... or at least the next time you play soccer."
Lars Baron / Getty Images
Because frankly we deserve it and you look like shit when you're crying like a sad baby.
Shaun Botterill / Getty Images
And you look like a thousand times better with your shirt off.
Getty Images
And I can almost forget about those diamond studded earrings when you're half naked.
ALMOST.
#Freethenipple.
Lars Baron / Getty Images
And you know what, I'll take an order of man on man action with that too please.
Shaun Botterill / Getty Images
Rub that chest. Thank you and goodnight.
Manuel Queimadelos / Getty Images
