Ladies and gentleman, we are in the midst of a pop music emergency.
Everyone link hands, chug a cup of tea, chop a Caesar salad, post a random-ass meme from your aunt's Facebook to your Instagram, and repeat after me:
First they came for the "Gimme More," and I did not speak out —
because it was 2007 and everything was a GD mess then.
Then they came for "Perfume," and I did not speak out —
because what was that album even?
Then they came for "Make Me..." and I said, "FUCK THAT! I MUST BE HEARD."
Let's begin.
Earlier today, Britney Spears released the music video for her song "Make Me..."
View this video on YouTube
Truth is, it's fucking gorgeous. She looks great.
BUT this isn't the music video we were supposed to get.
On June 2, 2016, E! News reported that Britney was working with legendary photographer and video producer David LaChapelle. They even interviewed her from the set of the music video.
The next day, on June 3 at 1:25 a.m., she posted this picture saying she had completed day one of the video shoot.
Problem is, these men, this outfit, and this scene WERE NOT in the music video that was released to the general public.
Someone please find me a church.
There is another video.
About a week ago there was a rumor that the original David LaChapelle video was scrapped.
Fans didn't want to believe the rumors were true.
But unfortunately, they were. The video was reshot.
Here's proof.
In mid-July, someone leaked a 1:30 clip of a music video of a completely different "Make Me...."
This mysterious leaked snippet started with some hot-ass dudes doing some weird-ass gymnastics in a living room with a leopard.
Britney is sitting on a man doing sit-ups while an Orange Theory commercial plays because that's what you watch when you're in a sparkly leotard in a room filled with mostly naked men exercising alongside a thirsty leopard.
Then we're in what appears to be a giant air-conditioning vent where she does some choreography.
There are hair flips. So many hair flips.
There's even an orgy.
Some guy even licks her tit!
Then Britney (BTW, love her updo) tosses a TV out of the window because she's (probably) sick of watching that Orange Theory commercial.
The TV lands in a pool and, naturally, kills someone.
She does a super-hot Shakira "She Wolf" move.
We see Britney in a cage. She's naked covered in red sparkly body paint. THERE IS NIPPLE.
We're all LIVING.
Finally, Britney is in a room with G-Eazy.
The clip ends with G-Eazy simu-fucking Britney.
The leaked clip is pretty much fucking awesome and a COMPLETELY different video than the one that was released...which makes us wonder:
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ORIGINAL VIDEO?!
So now people are talking.
Riots will happen.
And we will not be silenced.
RELEASE THE ORIGINAL "MAKE ME..."!
