1. You turn on your computer and connect to the internet.
4. Just kidding your mom just picked up the phone.
5. You try again…
6. You’re in.
7. The first thing you do is sign onto AIM.
11. Oh well, I guess this means you can burn that CD you’ve been meaning to make.
15. NO RESULTS.
You can’t do your homework now. Great.
17. DAMMIT MOM.
18. WHY CAN’T WE GET A SECOND LINE?
21. OK, so you want to look at some porn.
22. BUT THE INTERNET IS SO SLOW THAT THE PICTURE WON’T LOAD.
23. Fuck that. I guess you’ll have to settle for some Oregon Trail.
25. And then Nicole gets dysentery.
That was fun.
29. You find what you want. It’s going to take an hour for this one song.
30. 2.5 hours later…
31. It finished!
32. JK IT’S A VIRUS
35. You want to die.
37. So you just sit there, stare, and hope that the computer will magically work if it “rests” for a while.
- President Donald Trump has commented on yesterday's massive Women's Marches asking, "why didn't these people vote?"
- Kellyanne Conway says White House press sec. Sean Spicer didn't lie about crowd size at Trump's inauguration. He gave "alternative facts."
- Members of the national security community reacted with shock after Trump attacked his critics while giving a speech at CIA headquarters.
- "SNL" featured a shirtless Vladimir Putin celebrating America's newest President.