1. You turn on your computer and connect to the internet.
4. Just kidding your mom just picked up the phone.
5. You try again…
6. You’re in.
7. The first thing you do is sign onto AIM.
11. Oh well, I guess this means you can burn that CD you’ve been meaning to make.
15. NO RESULTS.
You can’t do your homework now. Great.
17. DAMMIT MOM.
18. WHY CAN’T WE GET A SECOND LINE?
21. OK, so you want to look at some porn.
22. BUT THE INTERNET IS SO SLOW THAT THE PICTURE WON’T LOAD.
23. Fuck that. I guess you’ll have to settle for some Oregon Trail.
25. And then Nicole gets dysentery.
That was fun.
29. You find what you want. It’s going to take an hour for this one song.
30. 2.5 hours later…
31. It finished!
32. JK IT’S A VIRUS
35. You want to die.
37. So you just sit there, stare, and hope that the computer will magically work if it “rests” for a while.
- North Dakota police have begun clearing out Standing Rock protester camps at the Dakota Access Pipeline site.
- Seven Earth-sized planets that could have water and possibly sustain life have been discovered orbiting a dwarf star, NASA announced today.
- The ACLU is suing the city of Milwaukee and its police for allegedly performing thousands of illegal stop-and-frisk searches that targeted minorities.
- #Peggygate: West Elm offers full refunds for the notoriously disintegrating Peggy Couch days after pulling it from its website and stores👏