Once upon a time, long ago, when Derrick Barry somehow made it into the top five of Season 8, a living legend was birthed, legs first, into the Drag Race universe.
Like Laura Dern or Barack Obama or the guy at Chipotle that gives me guacamole for free, Naomi Smalls came into our world as a true royal deity.
In Season 8, when she slayed us with her iconic scarecrow look I decided once and for all: I REALLY fuck with this bitch*.
So, you could understand how truly elated I was to find out my queen, OUR QUEEN, was going to be on RuPaul's Drag Race: All Stars 4.
Immediately, like literally upon her entrance, she did not disappoint.
Her entrance was every bit as legendary as she is.
But the entrance wasn't the only thing that was stunning.
THE MOST STUNNING THING IS WEEK AFTER WEEK RUPAUL AND JUDGES ARE IGNORING HER FUCKING EXCELLENCE AND I'M SICK OF THE TIRED NEW AGE DARK-SIDED DOCTRINE AND SOMEONE FIND ME A CHURCH BECAUSE I HOPE YOU ALL PRAY HEAVILY ON IT.
Moving on...
Each and every week Naomi is bringing that gay shit and by gay shit I mean elevated excellence.
And each and every week she is "safe."
no offense but if naomi smalls doesn't win a challenge soon i will riot
This look was iconic:
Gorgeous:
Gagged me:
Funny to those in the know.
Truly brilliant!
OK, those weren't boots but we let it slide, even the Grammy's gave the Best New Artist award to the Oreo lady.
Then, last week, she knocked it out of the park again.
I mean, some gay even noticed that her name was a play on Lady Gaga's real true Italian name.
But still, through all of this iconicness, there has been very little recognition.
Live view of Rupaul every time Naomi Smalls does anything amazing on #AllStars4:
Every week we sit through another "safe."
Me watching RuPaul putting Naomi smalls 3 weeks in a row in the top 3... Where is her win 😓
Every week another teeny tiny piece of me dies.
its funny how people can sleep on different things, i sleep on beds and couches and rupaul sleeps on naomi smalls
It's *Thorgy voice* ew, so gross.
Naomi Smalls: I literally crafted this gown with my own two hands and it’s made from the hair of my loved ones that I’ve collected over two hundred years Judges: you can do better Naomi. You’re safe.
I think I've made my point.
Naomi should get what she deserves...
...and that's a win at the VERY LEAST because I swear TO GOD I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE I'M GONNA SNAP.
