It has come to my attention that there is a straight pride flag and whew, boy, it's something.
And by something, I mean I don't think I've ever felt more of an appropriate use of this GIF:
A little search on Amazon shows that we can get straight pride merch!
This "Straight Pride Flag For A Proud Heterosexual Person T-Shirt" — like, that's literally the name — is only $21.99 and available on Amazon Prime!
Here's another straight pride shirt called "Proud Hetero Pride 'STRAIGHT' Ally Rainbow T Shirt!"
This one is called "Straight Pride Shirt, Proud to Be Straight, I'm Not Gay T-Shirt."
And if you're into pins, there's this:
Basically, if you want to look like an old-timey criminal, the Hamburglar, or Beetlejuice, then straight pride merchandise is for you!