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34 Reasons Why Patriots Fans Are The Worst

Worst fans in football since 1776.

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1. "Wicked" is not a cool word. No one should say it.

2. All they can talk about how 14 degrees is "warm."

3. We get it. You grew up where it was cold.

4. We get it. The leaves change colors.

5. Weather humblebrags about snow are dumb. Snow is only exciting for two to three hours after it falls.

6. Lip tattoos aren't cool.

Pats fans show off tattoos, including “Belichick yourself before you wreck yourself” arm tat http://t.co/VljHwMAG2E

Bleacher Report@BleacherReportFollow

Pats fans show off tattoos, including “Belichick yourself before you wreck yourself” arm tat http://t.co/VljHwMAG2E

10:52 PM - 16 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

7. They refer to Boston as "The City."

8. Plymouth Rock is barely a rock. Might as well call it "I'm Disappointing, Even for a Surprisingly Small Rock" Rock.

9. Stop fooling yourself: Apple picking isn't really fun. BEES.

Wikipedia Commons

10. I burned my tongue on Dunkin' Donuts coffee last week.

11. Tom Brady wears Uggs.

Uggs

12. And he's scared of water slides.

Splash

13. And his ponytail...

AP

14. The Crucible was just an OK book.

15. And let’s be honest: pretty fucked up to kill a bunch of women like that.

Getty Images

16. Also the bars close early there.

17. They go camping, kayaking, and hiking like every day and won't stop clogging your feed with 'grams of it.

18. Everything is haunted.

19. It's not a frappe; it's a MILKSHAKE.

20. Skull tattoos aren't cool. You think skeletons are cool, Patriots fans?

Well, what do you expect from Pats fans?? RT @NFL_Memes: What were they thinking? http://t.co/ctR87G0yOO

Isaiah L. Carter@IsaiahLCarterFollow

Well, what do you expect from Pats fans?? RT @NFL_Memes: What were they thinking? http://t.co/ctR87G0yOO

5:36 PM - 13 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

21. The pilgrims were racist as hell.

22. And Christmas is better than Thanksgiving, anyway.

23. Why would anyone in their right mind waste all that tea? Not really my idea of a tea "party," to be honest. Just seems wasteful.

24. Their chowder is like drinking an actual bowl of cream with clams in it.

Thinkstock

25. Plus, the letters E and R in conjunction are sacred and should be respected. It's "chowder," not "chowdah."

26. Also clam chowder isn't healthy. You think eschewing proper eating habits is cool, Patriots fans?

27. Paul Revere was a snitch.

28. L.L. Bean is overpriced and for moms. You think backpack initials are cool, Patriots fans?

29. Dane Cook.

30. Candlepin bowling is not an officially recognized NCAA sport.

31. Calvin Coolidge was a mediocre president.

32. I could probably beat up Johnny Appleseed.

33. There are way too many old buildings everywhere. It’s like, hey, you ever hear of insulation?

34. They will be truly offended by this list.

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