Celebrity

What Happens When Ryan Gosling Leaves A Meeting

Everything is complicated (and sexy AF) when you’re Ryan Gosling and you are leaving a meeting.

1. Ryan “Actual God” Gosling walks out of some place. Blue pants. Fitted shirt. Two buttons undone. Valet ticket in hand. He’s finished with a meeting. This meeting is over.

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2. The man he met appears to his left. Shirt open. Tits out to the breeze. He’s talking but we aren’t listening. “Blah blah blah blah meeting.” Our eyes are busy.

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3. Ryan thinks, Cool meeting, but I thought this meeting was over? Why must this meeting continue?

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4. Ryan spots his exit. The valet. He thinks, Thank you. Thank you. I can get out of here. I can get out of this meeting.

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5. Ryan speaks to the valet: “Hi mister. Here’s my ticket. I just had a meeting. It’s over now. The meeting is done.”

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6. The good-bye. A handshake. The man who isn’t Ryan holds on tight. The meeting man says, “Is this it? Must our meeting really end?”

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7. Ryan panics on the inside: I am never getting away. This meeting will never end. I will always be in this meeting. I hate this meeting. No more meetings!

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8. Then a hug. A hug. A GODDAMN HUG.

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9. Then the pat. A pat. Pit. Pat. Pit. Pat. Is this really happening, Ryan thinks.

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10. Ryan gets away. This meeting must end.

11. The meeting man suddenly shrieks: “But wait, Ryan. I’m not ready. I have one more thing to say. I think I’m in love with you and you can’t go. This was such a good meeting. Let’s continue this meeting forever!”

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12. “No, I must go. This meeting is over.”

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13. Ryan opens the door. He exits. He’s out.

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Meeting adjourned.

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