1. Ryan “Actual God” Gosling walks out of some place. Blue pants. Fitted shirt. Two buttons undone. Valet ticket in hand. He’s finished with a meeting. This meeting is over.
2. The man he met appears to his left. Shirt open. Tits out to the breeze. He’s talking but we aren’t listening. “Blah blah blah blah meeting.” Our eyes are busy.
3. Ryan thinks, Cool meeting, but I thought this meeting was over? Why must this meeting continue?
4. Ryan spots his exit. The valet. He thinks, Thank you. Thank you. I can get out of here. I can get out of this meeting.
5. Ryan speaks to the valet: “Hi mister. Here’s my ticket. I just had a meeting. It’s over now. The meeting is done.”
6. The good-bye. A handshake. The man who isn’t Ryan holds on tight. The meeting man says, “Is this it? Must our meeting really end?”
7. Ryan panics on the inside: I am never getting away. This meeting will never end. I will always be in this meeting. I hate this meeting. No more meetings!
8. Then a hug. A hug. A GODDAMN HUG.
9. Then the pat. A pat. Pit. Pat. Pit. Pat. Is this really happening, Ryan thinks.
10. Ryan gets away. This meeting must end.
11. The meeting man suddenly shrieks: “But wait, Ryan. I’m not ready. I have one more thing to say. I think I’m in love with you and you can’t go. This was such a good meeting. Let’s continue this meeting forever!”
12. “No, I must go. This meeting is over.”
13. Ryan opens the door. He exits. He’s out.
- Confused refugees question what's next as French authorities begin to clear out the Calais "Jungle" camp.
- Donald Trump keeps questioning polls and insisting he's winning — even as most show him behind nationally.
- Obamacare premiums will jump an average 25% in 2017, but officials say subsidies will keep costs low for most people.
- These parents came up with maybe the best dirty Halloween couple's costume ever. Parents ftw 😂👏