Now that gay people can get married in all 50 states, I think it's only fair we prepare for what we're in for.
This is a warning to prepare you for the inevitable consequences of allowing them to marry...
In a world of same-sex marriage, cats will become the new 1%:
Chipotles will become but a distant memory:
The cross will become but a literal T:
And commas will be a thing of the PAST:
In a world with same-sex marriage, everyone will have a forced pejazzling:
This lady will probably see a big cat:
Yaks and zebras will be banging one another all over the continental U.S.:
Cher will never find her mom:
In a world with same-sex marriage, you'll eat this every morning for breakfast:
Dinosaurs will eat this every day for breakfast:
And birds will eat this every day for breakfast:
An America with same-sex marriage means an America with trapped hedgehogs:
It means a Walmart you can never return from:
And an America where the only music you're allowed to listen to is this:
So, my fellow Americans, this is goodbye to the world as we know it.
Say hello to the new normal.
Or, you know, it'll just a look a lot like this.
Exactly the same, only much more equal and much happier:
