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This Is What A World With Same-Sex Marriage Will Look Like

Get ready.

Posted on

Greetings, new world.

Now that gay people can get married in all 50 states, I think it's only fair we prepare for what we're in for.

This is a warning to prepare you for the inevitable consequences of allowing them to marry...

In a world of same-sex marriage, cats will become the new 1%:

Chipotles will become but a distant memory:

The cross will become but a literal T:

And commas will be a thing of the PAST:

In a world with same-sex marriage, everyone will have a forced pejazzling:

This lady will probably see a big cat:

Yaks and zebras will be banging one another all over the continental U.S.:

Cher will never find her mom:

And Obama? OBAMA!!!

In a world with same-sex marriage, you'll eat this every morning for breakfast:

Dinosaurs will eat this every day for breakfast:

And birds will eat this every day for breakfast:

An America with same-sex marriage means an America with trapped hedgehogs:

It means a Walmart you can never return from:

And an America where the only music you're allowed to listen to is this:

So, my fellow Americans, this is goodbye to the world as we know it.

Say hello to the new normal.

Or, you know, it'll just a look a lot like this.

Purestock / Getty Images

Exactly the same, only much more equal and much happier:

Timothy A. Clary / Getty Images
Mladen Antonov / Getty Images
Afp / Getty Images
Mladen Antonov / Getty Images

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