101 Things That 90% Of The Human Population Hates
Do you hate the same things I do?
1. Birthday dinners.
2. Splitting the check at a birthday dinner.
3. That one friend who says, "OK but I only got..." instead of just splitting the bill evenly.
4. Dropping your phone in front of people (it draws more attention to it).
5. Not knowing how to spell someone's name if it's something like Katie. Like is it Katie, Catie, or Katy?
6. The price of couches.
7. Any sign of Christmas after December 31 or before Thanksgiving.
8. When a car or motorcycle is loud on purpose.
9. The last 30 minutes of any workday when you're just sitting there doing nothing.
10. Thinking you were lucky that you didn't get bitten by any mosquitos, until the next day, when you discover you're covered in 'em.
11. When you wake up in the middle of the night and see that it's exactly 3 a.m. (demon hour).
12. When you're high AF and someone knocks on your front door.
13. When anyone knocks on my door.
14. Spilling olive oil on my clothes.
16. When I'm watching Olympic figure skating and my skater falls.
17. Snacks that leave a residue on your hands (like Cheetos).
18. When you sneeze while you're driving.
20. Your mom's social media presence.
21. When someone says you look like a celebrity you really don't want to look like.
22. The people Facebook/Twitter suggests you follow (you don't follow them for a reason).
23. Waiting to get on a flight.
24. Waiting to get off a flight.
25. Seaweed (not the food).
27. When people start Facebook posts with "I never do this on social media but..."
28. Waking up and realizing that you forgot to charge your phone the night before.
29. Being hungry hours before someone should "acceptably" eat lunch.
30. The month of March.
31. People who are 27 and say they're "so old."
32. People who say they grew up in the '90s, but they were born in 1996.
33. When you walk into a store and five employees ask you what you're looking for that day, but you're really only just browsing.
34. The line at Walgreens or Rite Aid (there always is one).
35. The amount of calories the wrap of a Chipotle burrito has.
36. When people come into your room when you're sleeping, leave, and don't close the door.
37. When your phone changes "omw" to "On my way!" like you're really enthusiastic about it, but you're not.
38. When you forget to bring your phone into the bathroom and you just have to sit there doing nothing like a chump.
39. Having to print something.
40. Cutting big watermelons.
41. Taking the seeds out of seedy vegetables like squash.
42. Finding seeds from the seedy vegetables days later in a crevice in the kitchen.
43. Dogs that smell.
44. Spilling stuff on my couch.
45. People who don't know which side of the sidewalk to walk on.
46. People who stand on moving walkways in airports.
47. When someone on Facebook says, "And now for some personal news."
48. Going to the dentist.
49. Getting yelled at by the dentist.
50. A 30-second ad before a 20-second video.
51. Trying to Instagram a picture that's not a square, so it won't fit.
52. When your friend is on a juice cleanse and won't stop talking about it.
53. When your friend is doing "dry January" or some shit and won't stop talking about it.
54. Rooftop bars (I like the idea of them, but the drinks are always SO expensive).
55. When people in LA won't stop talking about how much better their Mexican food is.
56. Looking at yourself in the mirror while you're getting a haircut.
57. When people reply all to an email that didn't call for a reply all.
58. When the waiter asks, "How's your meal?" and you're taking a big bite.
59. When people constantly post engagement photos on Facebook for what seems like months.
60. Remembering your Apple ID password.
61. When someone asks, "What do you like to do?" Like, for fun.
62. When you're controlling the music and someone's like, "Hold up, let me play a song."
63. Cheap paper towels (they run out easily).
64. Cheap garbage bags (they break).
66. Being bad at a board game.
67. When someone doesn't clean a machine at the gym after they used it.
68. Outer space (it freaks me out).
69. Flying over oceans for an extended period of time (it's scary).
71. Paper straws (metal or none!).
72. Passwords that require an uppercase letter, number, AND a punctuation mark.
73. When you can't see the bottom of a large body of water.
74. The fear of stepping on sting rays.
75. Spelling Jake Gyllenhaal.
76. When YouTube videos are "not available in your country."
77. People with Wi-Fi passwords that are like this: JKLGKL234ou234.
78. When you see that someone is texting you and it's all "…" and then they stop and you're waiting there like "…WHAT?"
79. Your friend who is always cold and doesn't bring a sweatshirt.
80. Your friend who always asks for a bite.
81. When there are no ripe avocados at the grocery store.
82. Food poisoning.
83. When you think about buying something on Amazon, you go to the page, and then you leave the page only to be followed by ads for the thing all over the internet.
84. People who save empty liquor bottles and display them in their kitchen.
85. The "mother" in kombucha (the floating turd).
87. The amount of fat in nuts.
88. Having to pee in New York City.
89. Feeling something touch your leg while you're swimming in the ocean or a lake.
90. When people don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom.
91. How much water it takes to make ONE almond.
92. When it's really hot during the day and really cold at night and you forget to bring a light jacket.
93. When celebrities or super-rich people ask you to donate money.
94. Really close-up microscopic pictures of normal everyday options (no one needs to see things that close up).
95. The "friends" you make during your first week of college (not real).
97. The iCloud (what is it?).
98. Cleaning spoons with peanut butter on them.
99. Cracking an egg and getting some of it on your hands so you're just standing there covered in salmonella.
100. Wrinkled clothing.
101. And lastly, John Travolta's chin nubbin.
102. Honestly, any time John Travolta has facial hair.