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99 Things Straight People Probably Don't Know Are Gay

In case you didn't know, these things are gay culture.

by ,

1. Laura Dern

2. Walking past people on the street

3. Walking fast in general

4. Talking about going to the gym

5. Talking about not going to the gym

6. Iced coffee

6½. Talking about how you only drink iced coffee regardless of the weather

Iced coffee is a full gay meal

7. The underwear aisle in a store

8. Ariana Grande's ponytail

9. Vodka sodas

10. Tank tops

11. Wearing a tank top when you shouldn’t be wearing a tank top because it's weather inappropriate

12. That one hot pink Nike sweatshirt

13. Salt lamps

14. Getting drunk at brunch and then taking a nap from 3–6 p.m.

15. Dehydration

16. Being tired

"Can I get a gay water?" "What's that" "a vodka soda, duh"

17. Happy hour

18. Most dogs

19. Wearing straight brim hats backwards

20. Talking about not having abs

21. Animal Crossing

20. Twitter

21. The God Warrior


22. Most memes

23. Wendy Williams

24. Kelly Clarkson covering songs on her talk show

25. Zara short-sleeve printed button-downs

26. Adding avocado to a meal

27. Naming your dog “Finn”

28. Miss Juicy

29. Buying Cameos of D-list celebrities for your friends on their birthdays

30. Sitting like this:

why do all gay people sit like this

31. Meeting someone five times and still not remembering their name

32 Charli XCX

33. Close friends circles on Instagram

34. Talking about drinking water

35. Never actually drinking water

36. Most lettuces

37. Kale, especially

38. Sweetgreen

A Time magazine cover edited to feature kale coming out as gay
John Gara for BuzzFeed

39. Football (the outfits and the Super Bowl half time show)

40. Liking 10 pictures on someone’s Instagram and then not following them

41. Dolphins

42. Seltzer

43. Basically every remix of a song

44. Fiddle leaf and Monstera plants

45. Also snake plants

46. The name "Joanne"

47. Ina Garten

48. Mr. Clean

Mr. Clean and his dangly earrings
Mr. Clean

49. Bandanas

50. Charcuterie boards

51. The name “Blake”

52. Wrestling

53. Sourdough bread

54. "Beanie season"

55. Smoothies

56. Hummus

57. Quinoa

58. Cauliflower rice, spaghetti squash, and zucchini noodles

59. Middle-aged women who love wine

60. Pinot grigio and rosé

Bravo / Via T. Kyle/

61. Palm Springs

62. Half of Chicago

63. D.C.

64. Most of New York and LA

65. Europe (most countries)

I wish I could be one of those gays in Mykonos that everyone makes fun of

66. Getting into crystals and essential oils

67. Anxiety

68. Depression

69. Blaming everything on anxiety and depression

70. Matcha

71. The word “dad”

72. The word “mom”

73. Standing like this:

74. Astrology

75. Pretending to know and care about astrology

76. Blaming things on Mercury being in retrograde

77. Not actually having any idea what Mercury in retrograde is

78. Being shocked when someone doesn’t know their rising sign

astrology is the gay christianity

79. Basically every Christmas song except "Christmas Shoes"

80. Blocking family members on social media

81. The movie Rat Race

82. VH1 dating reality shows from 2007

83. Halloween

84. The nuns from Sister Act

85. "Yeehaw"

86. Ring lights

87. Knowing what OnlyFans is

88. Knowing who Stacie Orrico is

Stacie Orrico headshot
Anthony Harvey - Pa Images / Getty Images

89. Most Pokémon

90. Greek mythology

91. That one Kris Jenner tweet about being stuffed with a meatloaf

92. Being late

93. Burning down gyms

94. The month of June

95. Talking about CrossFit

96. The Christian Girl Autumn girl

97. Knowing anything Lindsay Lohan has done post 2010

98. That hot animated dad from that Pixar movie

The hot dad from Inside Out

99. And last, but not least, Bugles