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61 Things I Learned At The World's Most Important Sloth Sanctuary

Basically one of the coolest places in the world.

1. The Sloth Sanctuary of Costa Rica is the most important sloth sanctuary in the world, and it is pretty damn hard to get to.

2. The sanctuary currently hosts over 350 sloths (!!!!).

3. Right when you get into the sanctuary, there's a huge statue of an actual life-size prehistoric sloth.

4. The sloth sanctuary has the best room names ever because they're named after sloths and any room named after a sloth is a pretty cool room, especially if the sloth's name is Johnny Depp.

5. Anyway, the first thing you learn at the sanctuary is that scientists know basically nothing about sloths. Sloths have never really been studied until very very recently. I'm talking the last 10 years recently.

6. This woman, Judy, runs the sanctuary along with her family. She is basically the most important sloth person in the world. She has done more for sloths than anyone else. She is a legend.

7. This is Becky. Becky is a Ph.D. student and biologist. She is basically the most important sloth scientist in the world.

NOW ON TO THE SLOTHS THEMSELVES...

8. First off, sloths have tiny humanlike ears.

9. All sloths also have these strange fur designs on their back.

10. All baby sloths brought to the sanctuary have to exercise every day on a jungle gym. In order to teach the smallest babies to climb, their "trainer" starts with really small motions. It's like sloth personal training.

11. The sloth personal trainer has quite possibly one of the best dream jobs. She literally always has baby sloths hanging off of her.

I mean, what is your life?

12. So yeah, all baby sloths have to exercise and they are FAST.

13. Sloths in the wild are solitary animals. In captivity, they tend to stick together.

14. And sometimes they fight.

15. Sloths are the most amazing and incredible eaters. The best.

16. This is what sloth poop looks like. It's pretty damn cute, if we're talking poop.

17. Sleeping sloths are the best kind of sloths.

18. Lunita is the cutest baby sloth in the entire world.

19. Sloths absolutely love hibiscus plants. It's their favorite treat.

20. Sloths love to lick human hands.

21. Even sloths pick their noses.

22. There are lots of one-eyed pirate sloths.

23. Up until fairly recently, people in Costa Rica thought of sloths as vermin and pests.

24. The sloth nursery is the most special of special places.

25. Sloths have really tiny pupils.

26. This sloth has dilated pupils.

27. Some sloths look like actual space aliens.

28. There are two species of sloths: The two-toed and the three-toed. The two species of sloths are separated at the sanctuary, except when they are babies.

29. This is what happens when they interact.

30. This is what a full-time sloth vet looks like.

31. Flies drink sloth tears.

32. This is what a sloth with a tiny backpack looks like.

33. The secret hardest part of releasing a sloth back into the wild is that they will GRAB ONTO EVERYTHING.

34. We know very, very, very, little about the two-toed sloths. Basically nothing.

35. All baby sloths at the sanctuary are paired with a stuffed animal.

36. There's even a book shelf at the sanctuary dedicated to stuffed animal storage.

37. Sloths are sometimes named after the stuffed animals they become most attached to. Like this guy's name is Kermit because he won't leave his Kermit stuffed animal.

38. One of the most commonly surreal sights at the sanctuary are literal buckets of baby sloths.

39. Sloths experience food comas.

40. Sloths get milk mustaches.

41. The most adorable part of sloth feeding is when the little tiny babies grab onto the little feeder thing.

42. Most sloths at that sanctuary live in these incubators from World War II.

43. Sloth naps are the best naps.

44. Painfully cute.

45. Again, sloths aren't lazy! If you open their cage, they will crawl out and onto you!

46. Every single sloth at the sanctuary has a name and they are the best names.

47. For example, this sloth is named Oprah after the one and only Winfrey.

48. Double-fisting vegetables is a common sight at the sanctuary.

49. Sloths like to face-plant into their food.

50. Like this guy tipped his food into his mouth to make it easier to eat.

51. This girl got food all over her face.

52. And this one literally laughed itself to sleep after its meal. This may be my favorite picture of all time.

53. Sloths give a mean side-eye.

54. They can also have a pretty nasty case of resting bitch face.

55. If you see a sloth mom snuggling her sloth baby you will probably shriek and die.

56. Sloths are really, really strong.

57. When sloths hang on poles, they often look like strippers.

58. Last but certainly not ~least~, I learned that you can never get sick of looking at and watching sloths...

59. ...which is like, duh...

60. ...they're perfect.

61. Also they don't really smell like anything and their fur feels coarse.