1. Democrats are really into taking selfies.
2. Street preachers wheel around their giant crosses.
3. Street preachers are probably the only people in the world who wear cargo pant jorts.
4. New Mexico has the cutest/most clever Obama slogan.
5. Seriously, everyone needs to get off of their cellphones while someone is speaking.
6. Also their iPads. I saw like 5 times the number of iPads at the DNC than the RNC.
Even this guy had one!
7. If the President was an element, he would be Obamium.
8. Democrat men like dressing up.
9. Some Dem men even wear fancy hats!
10. This is the best Michelle Obama bag ever to exist.
11. You can't just stuff a bunch of mini American flags on the back of your hat.
12. Some company makes American flag corsets.
13. The best way to save a seat is with your giant homemade American pride hat.
14. Fruit is potentially hazardous.
15. Democrats are obsessed with recycling.
16. This is how the media finds delegates from states they need to talk to.
17. This is the most adorable swag.
18. Bojangles is the gift from God/ the secret star of the DNC.
19. Fame whore tip: Dress up as Uncle Sam if you want to get on the big screen at the convention.
20. An old man delicately holding a tiny hat is always funny.
21. You also just can't wear a tiny hat on top of a regular hat.
22. Democrats do food infinitely better than Republicans.
23. The mascot for Planned Parenthood is Pillimina.
24. Obama bobbleheads are called Obobbleheads.
25. Fox News really knows its audience.
26. President Obama is seriously courting the cat lady vote.
27. The President is also going after the janitor vote,
28. and the Zumba lovers vote.
29. Gay marriage makes Lady Liberty cry : (
30. This is the most popular pin amongst Democrats.
31. Walking sticks are really in for Democrats.
32. DNC actually stands for Destory uNborn Children.
33. This is the best political convention shirt.
34. "Got Titus" is a pretty horrible/scary campaign slogan.
35. This is the guy who runs "Obama-bling.com"
36. The Democrats need to step up their stair game.
37. Wolf Blitzer is a Blackberry guy.
38. Democrats are really bad at directions.
39. Of course there is a collard greens peace sign.
40. All babies should be required to hold tiny flags.
41. These shoes need to be burned.
42. Jort handbags exist.
43. The world's largest gummy bear is (obviously) made in the US.
44. This is the most badass Democrat alive.
45. The Democratic donkey mascot should always have googly eyes.
46. This is how news anchors stay dry in the rain.
47. Democrats are really good at matching their pins with their outfits.
48. Loretta Harper is the best dressed Democrat in the country.
49. Don't sit in the wrong seat. You will start a fight.
50. Surfing Obama exists.
51. That thing is called a "pale."
52. Visors are the most overpriced item at the DNC.
53. A delegate from California had the worst seat in the convention.
54. Old people wearing matching khakis and holding hands is adorable.
55. This is how everyone should pose with an Obama cutout.
56. Democrats are really into their MSNBC/CNN anchors.
57. This is what a uterus would look like on top of a hat.
58. Democrats love their custom-made license plates.
59. They're really into wearing them.
60. The Obama Y'all shirt is probably the most popular shirt at the convention.
61. If you wear something "crazy," reporters will attack you, and you will be a DNC star.
62. This is the only newspaper from 9/11 actually published on 9/11.
63. Newspaper collecting is a thing in general.
64. Kangol caps are really popular with Democrats.
65. Obama is the manicure president.
66. Democrats do swag better.
67. Democrats are really into crafting.
68. And these are the best glasses ever.
Deputy Editorial Director, Devout Member of the Church of Godney
Contact Matt Stopera at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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