1. Eggs were born in the year 1000
2. Eggs will not judge you
3. Unless you’re a vegan
4. But at their core, eggs are pretty nice
5. They care!
6. They’re festive!
7. But they won’t take your shit
9. Just don’t fuck with them or else they’ll call you a goat or something
10. They have soldiers, too
11. Sometimes eggs don’t make much sense
12. Because they’re eggs
13. They just want to get along
14. And talk about the important issues
15. In conclusion, this guy sums eggs up pretty well:
- Top legal scholars will be filing the 1st major lawsuit against President Trump's alleged business conflicts on Monday.
- "Welcome to the movement": Women's March on Washington organizers are working tirelessly to make sure 1st-time marchers stick around ✊
- Kellyanne Conway says White House press sec. Sean Spicer didn't lie about crowd size at Trump's inauguration. He gave "alternative facts."
- The Patriots are heading to the Super Bowl yet again after crushing the Steelers. They'll play the Falcons on Feb. 5 🏈