If there is one person who captures the essence, inner turmoil, and overall experience of what it's like shopping at Target, it's Britney Spears.
1.Just like us, Britney is all smiles when she gets there. She's just going to be there for 20 minutes, but deep down she knows: "What kind of useless shit am I going to buy today? How long will Target swallow my soul for?" She better work, bitch.
2.Just like us, Britney grabs that cart and does everything she can to restrain herself from spending 20 minutes at the One Spot. Gimme more, but not today!
"No, I don't need another tiny notebook." —Britney Spears and you passing the One Spot
3.Just like us, Britney enters the bowels of Target. She only needs toilet paper, but Target works in mysterious ways. She spots vanilla candles. Her Uggs lead her the way.
"Here we go, we're doing this. Fanta, Fanta! No Coke! I kind of want Pizza Hut," she thinks.
4.Just like us, Britney steps down a rando aisle and stares aimlessly at shelves full of products she probably doesn't need. Five minutes pass.
5.Ten more minutes pass and Britney doesn't find what she needs. She continues staring aimlessly at the shelves.
6.Just like us, her phone rings. She picks it up. She says she's in Target and will leave in 20 minutes. She knows it will be more like 40.
7.Just like us, Britney drops her phone.
8.She prays it's still OK. She hopes no one saw her embarrassing folly. She's craving Starbucks.
9.Just like us, she moves on to another aisle she never planned on being in. It's cool. She wastes another 10 minutes staring at shit she doesn't need. It's endearing.
10.Just like us, she finally gets to the aisle she was supposed to go to the entire time. Slay that toilet paper aisle, Britney! You look so good! She's a mom now!
11.Just like us, she makes it to the checkout line. She looks at all the interesting flavors of gum and decides to buy one. Just like us, she can't resist those weird-ass Icebreakers flavors.
12.Just like us, she leaves with a Starbucks in hand (that's one of the reasons she goes to Target, duh) and with a pile of things she never planned on buying.
13."WHERE IS MY CAR EVEN?"
14."WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!"
15.Just like us, Britney spent her whole day at Target. The sun is now going down. Oops... She did it again.
