The DOs And DON’Ts Of Grindr

Your essential guide to the gay hookup app, Grindr. There is some NSFW language in this post. You’ve been warned.

1. DO: Avoid sketchy situations.

2. DON’T: Be the “ultimate hag”.

Queen Of The Fruit Flies… NOPE.

3. DO: Capitalize correctly.


4. DON’T: Speak to chocolate chip cookies.

That cookie looks like shit.

5. DO: Answer like this if someone “woofs” at you.

6. DON’T: Pretend to be the Pope.

Because that’s terrifying.

8. DON’T: Invite someone to hang out with your fag hags.

10. DON’T: Ever answer anyone who sends you a message about hawking loogies and breaking pencils.

11. DO: Be creative with your greetings.


13. DO: Get a hobby besides modeling.

14. DON’T: Tell someone you want to fuck them on the back of the bus.

15. DO: Shave before you take the picture.

16. DON’T: Be this guy.

17. DO: Send a proper picture.

19. DO: Be creative with your pick up lines.

20. DON’T: Ever use Kenny Loggins in your pick up line.

21. DO: Use your words.

22. DON’T: Believe anyone on Grindr who says they’re straight.

23. DO: Proofread your message before you send.

DON’T: Trust anyone who spells boy with an i, especially if they are a self-proclaimed “boi-rider”.

24. DO: Photoshop a kitten on your shoulder.

Because why not?

25. DON’T: Tell someone they look like a trendy hairdresser.

Kind of a weird compliment.

And here are just a bunch more DON’Ts because yeah… it’s Grindr.

26. DON’T: Just say random shit in order to get a response.

27. DON’T: EVER use the word “gravy stain” in your profile.

28. DON’T: Message someone you went to high school with.

31. DON’T: Ask someone to have their “back doors bashed in”.

32. NEVER: Ask someone if they want to go to “Poundtown”

Check out more articles on!

Deputy Editorial Director, Devout Member of the Church of Godney
Contact Matt Stopera at

More News

More News

Now Buzzing