DO: Avoid sketchy situations.
DON'T: Be the "ultimate hag".
DO: Capitalize correctly.
DON'T: Speak to chocolate chip cookies.
DO: Answer like this if someone "woofs" at you.
DON'T: Pretend to be the Pope.
DO: Use rage faces.
DON'T: Invite someone to hang out with your fag hags.
DON'T: Ever answer anyone who sends you a message about hawking loogies and breaking pencils.
DO: Be creative with your greetings.
DON'T: ASK THE SAME THING EVERY SINGLE TIME.
DO: Get a hobby besides modeling.
DON'T: Tell someone you want to fuck them on the back of the bus.
DO: Shave before you take the picture.
DON'T: Be this guy.
DO: Send a proper picture.
DON'T: Be a fish.
DO: Be creative with your pick up lines.
DON'T: Ever use Kenny Loggins in your pick up line.
DO: Use your words.
DON'T: Believe anyone on Grindr who says they're straight.
DO: Proofread your message before you send.
DON'T: Trust anyone who spells boy with an i, especially if they are a self-proclaimed "boi-rider".
DO: Photoshop a kitten on your shoulder.
DON'T: Tell someone they look like a trendy hairdresser.
DON'T: Just say random shit in order to get a response.
DON'T: EVER use the word "gravy stain" in your profile.
DON'T: Message someone you went to high school with.
DON'T: Ask someone to have their "back doors bashed in".
NEVER: Ask someone if they want to go to "Poundtown"
Deputy Editorial Director, Devout Member of the Church of Godney
Contact Matt Stopera at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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