1. DO: Get barbecue.
You’re in the South. They do BBQ better than anyone else.
2. DO NOT: Get pizza.
You’re in the South.
3. DO: Dress in matching outfits with cowboy hats and fanny packs and totally own it.
4. DO NOT: Stare at the roasting pig.
Because there are so many other better things to see and it’s kind of weird to watch a dead pig spin in circles.
5. DO: Check out the replica of Dolly’s childhood home.
Who doesn’t love a good replica?
Check in there too.
7. DO NOT: Stare at this picture for too long.
Because this kid will probably steal your soul.
8. DO: Tour Dolly’s old tour bus.
That’s me taking a picture between a family.
10. DO NOT: Snatch her wig.
One of Dolly’s wigs is in her old bus. Apparently she always kept one by her bed.
11. DO: See Dolly’s history of the Smokey’s in “Heartsong”.
MUST. SEE. The theatre is beautiful and they have “fake” rain. It’s probably one of the kitschiest things in the world.
12. DO: Look at all the pictures of Dolly with celebrities in her museum. There are quite a few gems.
15. DO: Go into Dolly’s closet.
It’s a store dedicated to to Dolly’s clothing.
16. DO NOT: Buy anything.
I think you get the point.
19. DO: Pose like this little kid.
20. DO: Check out the Dollywood swag.
21. DO NOT: Buy hats like this one.
22. DO: Ask for a Dollywood gift bag.
23. DO: This tip.
There are random cooking tips throughout part of the park.
24. DO NOT: Stay in the gospel museum for too long.
It’s kind of terrifying.
25. DO: Keep your eyes open for pictures of Dolly’s dog, Popeye.
There are pictures of Popeye throughout the Dolly museum. Popeye always has an expression like this one.
26. DO NOT: Eat the free pork rinds.
Samples were stale.
27. DO: Pretend to die.
28. DO NOT: Actually die.
29. DO: Go on rides.
The rides are legit. The roller-coasters are scary. Good stuff. This lumberjack thing was pretty cool, I’ve never seen anything like it before.
30. DO: Pretend to be a bird.
31. DO NOT: Eat all the pie.
32. DO: Check out the bald eagles.
Dollywood has a TON of bald eagles. At first I thought it was messed up that they were in a cage, but then I read a little (the sign) and saw that they’re unfit to ever return to the wild… so I guess what they’re doing is good.
34. DO: Dip candles.
Don’t knock it till you tried it. It’s fun and pretty cheap. Also look at the little kid’s face. He gets it.
35. DO NOT: Buy a knife.
Because you probably shouldn’t buy knives in an amusement park. Right?
36. DO: GO TO DOLLYWOOD.
Seriously. So much fun. Way more fun than I thought it was gonna be. The biggest downside is price. Like most amusement parks it’s pretty pricey.
BONUS: There were so many older couples at Dollywood. I’ve never seen old couples at an amusement park. Dollywood is for everyone, and I swear this post isn’t an ad for Dollywood.
<3 you Dolly
FYI, we’re on a road trip to Bonnaroo. See all the stuff we’ve stopped at a long the way here!
- The Trump administration is rolling back an Obama-era policy aimed at protecting transgender students in public schools.
- North Dakota police have begun clearing out Standing Rock protester camps at the Dakota Access Pipeline site.
- Seven Earth-sized planets that could have water and possibly sustain life have been discovered orbiting a dwarf star, NASA announced today.
- Facebook is in negotiations with the Major League Baseball League to possibly stream one game per week during the 2017 season.