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Let's Cut The Shit, Ryan Gosling Is 1,000,000 Times Better Than Ryan Reynolds

The superior Ryan forever and for always.

Ryan Gosling eating:

Excellent spoon-to-mouth form. Good milk-to-cereal ratio. Suddenly I am horny.

Ryan Reynolds eating:

Poor pizza-eating technique. Awful cheese-to-sauce ratio. Pizza looks like shit. Suddenly I want salad.

A Ryan Gosling movie:

New Line Cinema

A classic.

A Ryan Reynolds movie:

American World Pictures

He looks like he just sharted and there's a Confederate flag? What is this even? Problematic!

Ryan Gosling with Ellen:

Twitter: @EllenD_world

Fun, must-see TV!

Ryan Reynolds with Ellen:

Ellen / Via

Dull and unwatchable! (Her eyes are closed. Boring!)

Ryan Gosling pumping gas:

Fameflynet Pictures / FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

Nice stance and excellent fill-age.

Ryan Reynolds pumping gas:

Cpr / CPR/ROCSTAR/DINO/Fameflynet Pictures

Awkward and weird. He probably had to go inside to pay because he did it wrong.

Ryan Gosling wearing glasses:

Ruano / Ruano/

Smart and cool.

Ryan Reynolds wearing glasses:


Looks like that kid in class who reminded the teacher to collect the homework.

Ryan Gosling wearing a hoodie:

Fameflynet Pictures / FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

The hoodie is perfectly fit to his head. Big fan.

Ryan Reynolds wearing a hoodie:


The hoodie just doesn't *look right.* Not a fan.

Ryan Gosling taking off his shirt:

Warner Bros. Pictures / Via

Flaw-free and jizz-worthy.

Ryan Reynolds taking off his shirt:

Painful-seeming and only kinda jizz-worthy.

Ryan Gosling and a dog:

Fame Pictures


Ryan Reynolds and a dog:

Ss / SS/PR/

The dog is looking back at him like he's pissed or something.

Ryan Gosling eating something:

Vah / VAH/Fame Pictures

An apple! So healthy!

Ryan Reynolds eating something:

Fameflynetuk / FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

Looks like plastic! Not even edible!

Ryan Gosling staying hydrated:


A big jug of water. Pee will be clear.

Ryan Reynolds staying hydrated:

Fameflynetuk / FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

A tiny bottle of water. Pee will be dark yellow.

Ryan Gosling leaving the airport:


Literally everyone looks like shit when they get off a plane except Ryan Gosling. Impact.

Ryan Reynolds leaving the airport:

Gangster#1 / Gangster#1/

The scarf is weird and I can't get over it. Sorry.

Ryan Gosling with Sandra Bullock:

Francois Guillot / AFP / Getty Images

A couple.

Ryan Reynolds with Sandra Bullock:

Km / KM/

He's sniffing her hair... Weird!

Ryan Gosling with a sloth:


The sloth is totally into him. Ryan is totally into the sloth. A couple.

Ryan Reynolds with a sloth:


The sloth is not even real. Fake, sad, and sorry.

Ryan Gosling doing charity:

View this video on YouTube

Breaking up a fight and really helping "the people."

Ryan Reynolds doing charity:

He's planting a tree. There's like millions of them already. Tired and old.

Ryan Gosling and a rare animal:

Twitter: @RyanGosling

So cute! Very cuddly.

Ryan Reynolds and a rare animal:

The giraffe is more into the food than Ryan. Ryan's forcing a kiss. Not cool!

Ryan Gosling next to an old man:


Old man looks important. Old man very grandpa-like and probably gives good Christmas gifts.

Ryan Reynolds next to an old man:


Man isn't even that old. Man is wearing bad shorts.

Ryan Gosling's bulge:

Focus Features / Via

Big and nice.

Ryan Reynolds' bulge:

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer / Via

Also nice, but dick is dick and bulge is bulge. We all win on this one!

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