Let's Cut The Shit, Ryan Gosling Is 1,000,000 Times Better Than Ryan Reynolds
The superior Ryan forever and for always.
Ryan Gosling eating:
Excellent spoon-to-mouth form. Good milk-to-cereal ratio. Suddenly I am horny.
Ryan Reynolds eating:
Poor pizza-eating technique. Awful cheese-to-sauce ratio. Pizza looks like shit. Suddenly I want salad.
A Ryan Gosling movie:
A classic.
A Ryan Reynolds movie:
He looks like he just sharted and there's a Confederate flag? What is this even? Problematic!
Ryan Gosling with Ellen:
Fun, must-see TV!
Ryan Reynolds with Ellen:
Dull and unwatchable! (Her eyes are closed. Boring!)
Ryan Gosling pumping gas:
Nice stance and excellent fill-age.
Ryan Reynolds pumping gas:
Awkward and weird. He probably had to go inside to pay because he did it wrong.
Ryan Gosling wearing glasses:
Smart and cool.
Ryan Reynolds wearing glasses:
Looks like that kid in class who reminded the teacher to collect the homework.
Ryan Gosling wearing a hoodie:
The hoodie is perfectly fit to his head. Big fan.
Ryan Reynolds wearing a hoodie:
The hoodie just doesn't *look right.* Not a fan.
Ryan Gosling taking off his shirt:
Flaw-free and jizz-worthy.
Ryan Reynolds taking off his shirt:
Painful-seeming and only kinda jizz-worthy.
Ryan Gosling and a dog:
Heroic.
Ryan Reynolds and a dog:
The dog is looking back at him like he's pissed or something.
Ryan Gosling eating something:
An apple! So healthy!
Ryan Reynolds eating something:
Looks like plastic! Not even edible!
Ryan Gosling staying hydrated:
A big jug of water. Pee will be clear.
Ryan Reynolds staying hydrated:
A tiny bottle of water. Pee will be dark yellow.
Ryan Gosling leaving the airport:
Literally everyone looks like shit when they get off a plane except Ryan Gosling. Impact.
Ryan Reynolds leaving the airport:
The scarf is weird and I can't get over it. Sorry.
Ryan Gosling with Sandra Bullock:
A couple.
Ryan Reynolds with Sandra Bullock:
He's sniffing her hair... Weird!
Ryan Gosling with a sloth:
The sloth is totally into him. Ryan is totally into the sloth. A couple.
Ryan Reynolds with a sloth:
The sloth is not even real. Fake, sad, and sorry.
Ryan Gosling doing charity:
View this video on YouTube
Breaking up a fight and really helping "the people."
Ryan Reynolds doing charity:
He's planting a tree. There's like millions of them already. Tired and old.
Ryan Gosling and a rare animal:
So cute! Very cuddly.
Ryan Reynolds and a rare animal:
The giraffe is more into the food than Ryan. Ryan's forcing a kiss. Not cool!
Ryan Gosling next to an old man:
Old man looks important. Old man very grandpa-like and probably gives good Christmas gifts.
Ryan Reynolds next to an old man:
Man isn't even that old. Man is wearing bad shorts.
Ryan Gosling's bulge:
Big and nice.
Ryan Reynolds' bulge:
Also nice, but dick is dick and bulge is bulge. We all win on this one!