1.Once upon a time in the not-so distant past, a woman by the name of Kelly Clarkson had the chunkiest of chunky blonde highlights.
2.They were chunkily aggressive, even for the messy time period of the early 2000s. I mean, people wore white eyeshadow then!
3.Kelly's chunky highlights were like the popular style of the time, capris. Capris or "middles" as I call them were perfect for when the temperature wasn't too hot or cold. Kelly Clarkson's chunky highlights were like that, in the middle between blonde and brunette*.
4.I would best describe Kelly's chunky highlights as somewhere between my 14-year-old babysitter Amanda and a woman named "Debra."
5.Now, you may be thinking, "Matt, don't be a little shithead." But really, I LOVE these chunky blonde highlights.
6.I also love the word "chunky" when used to describe hair.
7.Rosie gets it.
8.Anyway, they were kind of like art, chunky hair art.
9.And right about now you're probably wondering, what the fuck am I doing looking at Kelly Clarkson's chunky blonde highlights?
10.Honestly, I don't know why you are still here besides the fact that you have fallen for their spell.
11.So, don't be afraid of a these chunky skid-marks.