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39 Songs That Shouldn't Have Flopped But Straight People Let It Happen

This isn't necessarily an attack on straight people, this is an all-out war on heterosexuality!!! How could you let this happen to these bops?!

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1. "Sparks" by Hilary Duff

youtube.com

It's straight-up homophobic that this gorgeous song wasn't a No. 1 hit.

2. "React" by the Pussycat Dolls

youtube.com

The gayest comeback of all time, ignored by straight people everywhere.

3. Ashley O's entire discography (two songs)

Netflix

The most powerful two-song discography ever.

4. "Cool for the Summer" by Demi Lovato

youtube.com

Apparently, straight people never got the memo that "Cool for the Summer" has been the song of the summer for the past five years.

5. Tinashe's entire music career

youtube.com

It's a literal gay nightmare that Tinashe STILL hasn't *happened* already.

6. Britney Spears' Glory album

RCA Records

In 2016, Britney Spears released her best album in a decade. It's sad that heterosexuals have no idea it even exists.

7. Little Mix (in the US)

youtube.com

It's anti-gay that Little Mix has been unable to break into the US market. Trump's America, indeed.

8. "Sledgehammer" by Fifth Harmony

youtube.com

Heterosexuals were just not ready for this bop!

9. "4th of July" by Kelis

youtube.com

Flesh Tone made me gayer, and straight people could use a little less heterosexuality.

10. "I Luh Ya Papi" by Jennifer Lopez

youtube.com

Gays know this is simply a J.Lo classic.

11. Anything JoJo released after age 13

youtube.com

A talented vocalist with good songs, if only the general public could see that. 😭

12. "Livin' It Up" by Ciara

youtube.com

This wasn't even a single, but it deserved to be. I blame the patriarchy, I guess.

13. "Heartstrings" by Leighton Meester

youtube.com

A triumph and masterpiece.

14. Bonnie McKee

youtube.com

Bonnie deserves better.

15. Kim Petras' Turn Off the Light

BunHead

A pop dance album with a Halloween theme?! An idea so powerful that straights can’t even process it.

16. "Here's to Never Growing Up" by Avril Lavigne

youtube.com

From Avril's criminally + problematically underrated last album. Imagine being a heterosexual and not knowing Avril has been releasing music for the past 10 years. That's sad, huh?

17. "G.U.Y." by Lady Gaga

youtube.com

Like most gay things, "G.U.Y." was ahead of its time.

18. "Lemonade" by Danity Kane

youtube.com

I would blame straight people on this flopping, but honestly these girls just really hated each other.

19. "Don't Hold Your Breath" by Nicole Scherzinger

youtube.com

Her best song since every Pussycat Dolls song.

20. "Everything Is Embarrassing" by Sky Ferreira

youtube.com

Sky Ferreira: A name only gays and Williamsburg hipsters know.

21. "Get Outta My Way" by Kylie Minogue

youtube.com

It's 2020 and straight people still have relegated Kylie to Madonna's shadow and I am NOT okay with that.

22. "How to Be a Heartbreaker" by Marina & The Diamonds

youtube.com

Unfortunately, and I say this with love, Marina will always be for the gays (and lovers of gay-ish, gay-related, or highly homo things).

23. "Closer" by Tegan and Sara

youtube.com

Yes, the rumors are true: America is afraid of two powerful queer women who make bops.

24. "Into You" by Ariana Grande

youtube.com

No, this song didn't remotely flop...but it should have been No. 1 for 74 weeks. I hate that I live in a world where "Dangerous Woman" was a bigger hit than this.

25. The Bionic album

RCA

Bionic turned out to be ahead of its time. An underrated pop masterpiece.

26. "Ugly Heart" by G.R.L.

youtube.com

G.R.L. could have been *that* girl group, but breeders decided otherwise.

27. "Dancing on My Own" by Robyn

youtube.com

This song has a cult-like straight following, but that's not enough. Every straight person from Maine to Minnesota (and beyond) should know this song!

28. "A No No" by Mariah Carey

youtube.com

This song is classic Mariah and deserved to be her 19th No. 1.

29. "Never Really Over" or "Harley's in Hawaii" by Katy Perry

youtube.com

Katy Perry released her best songs since "Teenage Dream," but no one cared.

30. Most songs by Zara Larsson, but especially "All the Time"

youtube.com

It's sad that 99% of the human population doesn't know about "All the Time." Thank God homosexuality exists and that 1% do.

31. Anything Tove Lo released after "Habits"

youtube.com

From "Glad He's Gone" to "Disco Tits" to "I'm Coming." Tove has the range.

32. The pop songs from A Star Is Born

Warner Bros.

Ally could do Led Zeppelin’s "Kashmir," but Led Zeppelin could never do "Why Did You Do That?"

33. "Vroom Vroom" by Charli XCX

youtube.com

It's a song about sex literally using CAR metaphors. It was basically straight bait!

34. "Commander" by Kelly Rowland

youtube.com

Kelly Rowland has made some of the best dance music of our time! It's sad that straight people only know her from Destiny's Child.

35. "Green Light" by Lorde

youtube.com

“Green Light” and the entire Melodrama album spoke to gays in a way that straights just will never understand. It’s been three years and the gays are still screaming about it.

36. "Motivation" by Normani

youtube.com

I'm sorry, but I blame straight people for there being no second Normani single yet.

37. Betty Who

youtube.com

Because if there's a Pride parade, Betty Who will surely be performing there.

38. "Feedback" by Janet Jackson

youtube.com

A Janet Jackson classic that heterosexuality has ignored for far too long.

39. And Carly Rae Jepsen

youtube.com

Enough said.

You can listen to the playlist on Apple Music or on Spotify here:

embed.spotify.com

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Ryan Pattie/BuzzFeed