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I'm Pretty Sure Shakira's Ex Needs To Join The Witness Protection Program After Watching Her Jimmy Fallon Performance

This is like a religious experience where the religion is calling out Shakira's dirty doggin' ex.

Let me catch you up real quick: Shakira and soccer star Gerard Piqué recently broke up after 11 years together.

Gerard and Shakira holding hands as they pose for photographers on the Billboard Music red carpet

And the separation has been real, real messy.

Gerard eating popcorn as he and Shakira sit court side at a sports event

The pinnacle of this separation so far is Shakira releasing a song with Bizarrap.

Shakira and Bizarrap pose for a photo backstage at the The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon

It's, not exaggerating, one of the greatest diss tracks of all time.

View this video on YouTube


The song is MASSIVE, like her biggest hit in years.

The lyrics seem to be directly targeting her ex: "I was out of your league, that's why you're with someone just like you."

The lyrics say "A she-wolf like me isn't for guys like you, I was out of your league, that's why you're with someone just like you"

She even seemed to call out his mother.

You left me with your mom as a neighbor/The press at my door, and a debt with the Treasury/ You thought you'd hurt me, but you made me stronger/Women no longer cry, women get paid

It's all so juicy.

"I'm worth two 22-year-olds/ You traded in a Ferrari for Twingo/ You traded in a Rolex for a Casio/ You're all worked up, slow down/ Ah, so much time at the gym/ But maybe work out your brain a bit too

After Shakira released this song, Piqué had the nerve to post a picture with his new girlfriend, Clara.

On Valentine's Day, Shakira posted a video of her mopping the floor while lip-synching "Kill Bill" by SZA.

Shakira lip-synchs "I might kill my ex, not the best idea. His new girlfriend's next, how'd I get here?" in stilettos.

So, that brings us up to present day!

Shakira smiles as she stands onstage with Bizarrap behind her

Shakira performed their song "Bzrp Music Sessions, Vol. 53" with Bizarrap on Fallon, and I'm not exaggerating, it is like nothing I've ever seen on late night television before.

Here's the performance:

View this video on YouTube

NBC/ youtube.com

The performance has gone super viral because the crowd is completely and totally wild.

Not only was Shakira fucking amazing (as usual) but the audience has me speechless. I’ve never seen the Fallon crowd this active


They're screaming every. single. word.

Shakira is so goated. When did Jimmy Fallon’s audience get lit???


It's like a gospel choir.

The audience like a gospel choir with the Claramente, Shakira mom what have you done 😭😍 https://t.co/nfwj2adI7G

NBC/ Twitter: @28_Monster_28

"I've never seen that" is the common sentiment.

Shakira power so crazy she got an entire talk show audience singing every word ive never seen that lmaoooo https://t.co/XdLiFeX5oc


And ultimately, I sure as hell wouldn't want to be Piqué right now.

Everybody in the audience helped Shakira ruin Piqué’s life just a lil bit more 😅

NBC/ Twitter: @Sageness13

The performance apparently even reached Adele.

Adele laughing as she shows off her Grammy backstage

At her show this weekend, Adele told the audience: "I saw her performance last night on Jimmy Fallon. Oh, her ex-husband's in trouble."

Adele talking about @Shakira ~ “I saw her performance last night on jimmy fallon… oh her ex husbands in trouble".

Twitter: @Paky_Shak

Good luck to him, I guess. 🤭🤭🤭