Background: Taylor Swift is now officially the ambassador of New York City. What this means? I don't know. But it's wrong. These people are much better.
1. That Asshole Who Has A Cat On His Head
What he would do as the ambassador of New York: Wear a cat on his head and act surprised and angry when people take his picture. He would then curse at you and demand a dollar.
2. Leonardo DiCaprio on a CitiBike
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Show everyone the absolute best places they can buy cargo pants and newsboy caps.
3. Dr. Zizmor
What he would do as the ambassador of New York: Give everyone beautiful clear skin. Not age.
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4. The Woman Who Had Her Skin Miraculously Cleared Up By Dr. Zizmor Approximately 25 Years Ago
What she would do as the ambassador of New York: Give everyone hope for beautiful clear skin. Not age.
5. The "Big Baby" Of Times Square
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Scare the shit out of everyone and everything. Ruin lives.
6. That Guy That's Been Dancing Around In A Thong In The Union Square Subway Station
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Mainly dance around in a thong at various subway locations.
7. That Guy Who's Looking For A Girlfriend
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Put signs up asking for a girlfriend in hopes that people would take pictures of said signs for their Instagram accounts.
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8. The Rainbow Bearded Queen
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Bring cool new fashions to those who visit. Bring awareness to birds (as pets).
9. That Guy Who Sits In Washington Square Park Covered In Pigeons
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Allow people to stare at him covered in pigeons. Make people feel uncomfortable.
10. "Robert Darling"
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Make people feel uncomfortable.
11. That Guy Who Plays Street Golf With Milk Cartons
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Hit milk cartons with golf clubs.
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12. Yolanda Vega
What she would do as ambassador of New York: Read lottery numbers.
13. The Lady That Walks Chickens
What she would do as ambassador to New York: Walk her chickens.
14. The East River Piano
What it would do as ambassador to New York: Stay in the river.
15. The Guy Who Wears A Horse Head Mask And Plays The Accordion
What it would do as ambassador of New York: Hopefully play the accordion.
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16. This Dog Dressed As Teddy Roosvelt On A Horse
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Wear tiny glasses and be wheeled around on a stuffed horse.
17. The Couple From The Grand Prospect Park Commercial
What they would do as ambassadors of New York: Host parties and make dreams come true.
18. The 1-800-ENGLISH Girl
What she would do as ambassador of New York: Learn English. Or not because we have no updates on her life besides this 20 year old picture.
19.
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Teach everyone guitar. Or not and just teach everyone how to be a city-wide celebrity who literally no one actually knows.
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20. Pat Kiernan
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Keep you informed by reading the news.
21. Mr. G and Jimmy McMillan
What they would do as ambassadors of New York: Simultaneously tag team the weather and lowering your rent.
22. The Central Park Big Bird
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Walk around with Cookie Monster, sit on benches, and make you question your life/existence.
23. The Ghost Of The NYU Time Keeper
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Startle visitors by screaming the time at them from beyond the grave.
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24. Uncle Majic
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Throw a lot of birthday parties.
25. All of the black squirrels
What they would do as ambassadors of New York: Confuse people because they squirrels that are black. Also scare them.
26. Produce Pete
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Give us hot tips and suggestions about the season's hottest fruits and veggies.
27. Roscoe The Bedbug Dog
What he would do as ambassador of New York: Show us where all the bed bugs are.
28. Wendell The Garbage Man
What he would do as ambassador of New York: In general, he would dance around wearing his garbage creations.
