This is Mickey Rourke. He is some famous person from movies and TV and stuff. I could look it up but honestly it doesn't really matter in relation to this BuzzFeed post. I'll let you guys complain about it/my job in the comments for me.

Hocn / RC / BACKGRID
Anyway, Mickey and his dog went on a hot date and I'm here to tell you about it.

Bkny / BKNY / BACKGRID
The date started at a restaurant because they were probably hungry. Unfortunately, they were rudely interrupted by the paparazzi. Like, who interrupts a date with a dog?

Bkny / BKNY / BACKGRID
"Enough." - This dog, probably.

Fufu / Yellow Mamba / BACKGRID
Fortunately, the awful and invasive paparazzi didn't stop the two from sharing multiple tender moments together.

Bkny / BKNY / BACKGRID
"You better eat, b*tch*."

Bkny / BKNY / BACKGRID
*Like the Britney Spears song. It's a term of endearment. Also, the dog might be a female AKA a literal bitch. Don't come for me.
In the midst of the madness, they even posted a personal Instagram.

It was real cute.

But alas, the paparazzi made it their mission to tear these two apart.

Bkny / BKNY / BACKGRID
"GET A LIFE!!" - They screamed internally.

Bkny / BKNY / BACKGRID
Then they finished their meal and it seemed like Mickey and dog had had enough!

Fufu / Yellow Mamba / BACKGRID
That's when Mickey said: "Take a kayak, paparazzi!"

Xpos / BACKGRID
And then, almost on demand, the dog peed on them.

Bkny / BKNY / BACKGRID
Later, people took to Twitter to yell at the paparazzi for disrupting the hot date. People were pissed.
This person made a threat.

Twitter but not
This nun didn't like it.

Twitter but not
Even Nikki Blonsky from the movie "Hairspray" joined in.

Twitter but not
The end.
*Thanks for taking two minutes from you life and also those tweets weren't real xoxo.