Kris Jenner: producer, matriarch and sharter of the Kardashians, is not only the creator of Kim, but also a sayer of weird shit. Here's a collection of things she has said that perfectly some up her motherly aura. You rock never change, Kris. *Sharts*
1.
I just sharted myself. That's when u fart and u shit yourself on accident!
2.
JESUS IS LORD......just sayin'.....
3.
JUST PRAY PEOPLE....DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU HOW POWERFUL PRAYER REALLY IS??? LISTEN UP AND BE SAVED.....AND PRAY....JUST SAYIN'
4.
KENDALL AND KYLIE DON'T HAVE TWITTER..END OF STORY. NO TWITTER, DONE. Grounded. God First, Family second,Homework third. no twitter LOL
5.
Morning Twitterlicious Peeps!Happy Monday hope everyone is working out today At LEAST take a walk.and do something nice for someone today
6.
Whoot whoot
7.
My suitcase weighed too much so they made me move 2 things to my purse. I chose my bible and my blowdryer hahaha!! Bible must weigh a lot!
8.
Kylie Jenner is graduating from the 6th grade tonite!!! Congratulations Kylie We are so proud of you!! You are in Jr. High now woohoo!!
9.
SEATTLE IS AMAZING!! and corvallis OR AND Grand Rapids and MEXICO!! And The Caribbean! :)
10.
Don't forget to do some sort of exercise today ya'll!! You will thank me later LOL!!! And take your supplements...you will feel energized!
11.
And while u r at it enjoy a little martini and rossi sparkling rose ..it's pink! Tell someone u love to get a mamogram!
12.
Good morning dolls!! On my way to the gym, whats everyone doing for a workout today? Lets get moving come on!! Just do something...
13.
The moment of panic when u discover your Blackberry has fallen into the ocean, but then u recover because u realize u still have an Iphone!
14.
Hey dolls! What does it mean when your lip randomly swells up like crazy??!!!
15.
This is real bad
16.
I feel like there's a giant meatloaf inside of me
