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Chris Pratt Is Turning Into A Bear Daddy And Frankly, I'm Shivering

Very nice!

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Well butter my biscuit and call me Melinda, I have some good news for all of you today!

Photobac / Getty Images

Sip sip, sweeties! We have new pictures of Chris Pratt on the beach and, um, they are pretty great.

Photobac / Getty Images

A bird? A plane? Blake Lively being attacked by a gigantic problematic shark? Nope! It's Chris Pratt, uh doy. You clicked on this knowing what you were gonna get, and you are going to get that!

Kapp, Mjtb, Wahs / Pule / MJTB / FlightRisk / BACKGRID

So, in case you didn't know, in the homosexual male community some guys are given animal names because we're weird and primal or something. I asked my secret gay chat group what we would call Chris Pratt and here were their answers:

Slack

For clarity and consensus and for Britney Spears, I think we're going to go with "not a cub, not yet a bear."

Kapp, Mjtb, Wahs / Pule / MJTB / FlightRisk / BACKGRID

What does this mean? It means he looks like this. He is really fucking hot.

Kapp, Mjtb, Wahs / Pule / MJTB / FlightRisk / BACKGRID

It also means he could do just about whatever he wanted...

Kapp, Mjtb, Wahs / Pule / MJTB / FlightRisk / BACKGRID

...and I wouldn't even care!

Kapp, Mjtb, Wahs / Pule / MJTB / FlightRisk / BACKGRID

Me rn:

Chris Pratt makes me proud to be interested in men...

Kapp, Mjtb, Wahs / Pule / MJTB / FlightRisk / BACKGRID

...and I just wanted to use this opportunity to extend a thank-you to Chris.

Kapp, Mjtb, Wahs / Pule / MJTB / FlightRisk / BACKGRID

Thank you for being you, Chris. 🌸

Kapp, Mjtb, Wahs / Pule / MJTB / FlightRisk / BACKGRID

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